A short story about my baby bump

In 1975, in a small house in a small town in North India, an overdue baby refused to budge from its mother's womb....The mother had been writhing in labour pain for some time, exhausted (but not sweating as it was the last week of December)...The mid wife or 'dai' was trying to push the baby out but the stubborn child decided to take a little more time.. Surrounding the pregnant woman were  8-10 women of all ages and sizes, giving varied instructions to her and continuously talking among themselves, discussing what had happened at the time of their respective deliveries...(while the pregnant woman was screaming silently at them- 'hello- I am the one having a baby...will you all FOCUS!!').When nothing happened for 5-6 hours and ten more neighbours had gathered around, they started discussing options...while the preggie woman just looked on, wishing that they would take a decision before the millennium ends. Finally, somebody had a brainwave and suggested that they call a doctor. Though this was very unusual for their family as all babies were born at home, they still agreed and called the doctor (or a 'doctorani' as told to me) and as soon as she came, this baby literally jumped out into her arms...Yes, obviously- it was a boy!! The doctor was paid Rs. 100 for her visit and for many many months to come, whenever the family talked about the boy- they said 'bada mehnga bachcha hai...doctorani ko sau rupye dene pade iske liye!' (meaning...a very costly baby...the doctor had to be given 100 rupees for him!)


A baby delivered for 100 rupees!! Nowadays, there is not even a single blood test that costs less than 100 rupees....a single delivery in a decent hospital costs several grands....arre even 1 kg good rice costs more than Rs. 100.....
Also, one wonders, how dependent we have become on westernized concepts of medical care in the current times. While most of us are in the race for delivering in hospitals (despite uncomplicated pregnancies), in the West most people are now opting for home births assisted by trained mid-wives.


You must be wondering how this story is about me...Don't worry I was not born a boy...nor did I undergo a sex-change operation....just read on.........


In the first week of January,1977, with her teeth chattering in the cold, a pregnant doctor arrived in a small nursing home in a small town in central India on her due date. She knew that the baby will be born on that date as it was also her lucky number (pregnant women get a lot of these ideas). She waited patiently for the baby to turn who was in 'transverse lie' position (meaning if the mother is standing, the baby is perpendicular to her making the sign of a +). Of course, this baby was as stubborn as the one in the first story and refused to budge...Labour pains were in  full bloom and the tired mother told the doctor to conduct a C-Section....But, that was not to happen because the Nani (grandmother) put her foot down and refused to sign the approval form for a Cesarean birth. She believed that the baby will turn and told her daughter to have some patience (something that should never be told to women in labour!!). Nani's 'guru' had told her that she'll have a grand daughter - a rebirth of 'Laxmibai' (he had ultrasonic as well as supersonic vision it seems). So, this Nani was convinced that the baby will be born normally and there was no need for her daughter to cut up her body...The baby was probably enjoying the loud argument between the mom and grand mom as it still refused to budge.... 5-6 hours passed in grueling labour. The grandfather outside realized that holes had appeared in the soles of his sandals with so much walking and shuffling around the nursing home (literally!!) and wondered what had happened to the women inside. Finally, the mother had had enough of this madness and told the doctor to get the form so that she could sign it herself and just then........, the baby turned and was born in the next instant! The proud glow of satisfaction that  people usually exhibit on being proved right was visible on the Nani's face who stood beaming over the baby, her grand daughter!!


At least there was a strong Nani over here, nowadays, people (like me) are so paranoid about the safety of the baby etc that we decide about having a C-section at the drop of a hat. In addition to this, most private hospitals and doctors in India are infamous for not wanting to wait/try for a normal delivery but earn huge packets by conducting C-sections.. 




To go on with the story of these two stubborn and individualistic children....


Born in different cultures/situations/ very different families, who would have thought that these two would ever meet......They themselves had no idea that their lives would be intertwined with each other in the future.....The baby boy grew up in a number of towns in the northern most part of the country and then went to college in South India before coming to the capital of the country. The baby girl went from central India to grow up in a city in North India, went to college in Western India and then landed in the capital city.


It was here that they met each other in 2001 and 10 years after their paths crossed, they decided to make a baby together in 2011 (of course a lot happened in between!! but don't forget this is supposed to be a short story).....so this is the shortest story of how I got this baby bump........... and  right now it feels like a football being kicked from all sides (in sides I mean)!!

P.S.  First story: heard from Mom-in-law;
        Second story: heard at least a million times from my Nani

Pregnant and DREAMING!!!

In terms of fantasy quotient, pregnant women's dreams and nightmares can make Steven Spielberg look pale. I used to boast about having the soundest sleep in the world with no recollection whatsoever of any dreams at all...and then I got preggie and this self image that I had created so painstakingly, got shattered into a million dreams!!


I have now been made capable by my pregnant state to see the most weird and fantastic dreams and nightmares that have included the following till date -  horror (most common theme); thrill; sex; drama; comic book heroes who have by some scientific experiment become pregnant (imagine Phantom pregnant); lions; Salman Khan (don't ask me why); science fiction plots involving babies with special powers; my boss (again, don't ask me why); my husband and the rest of the family; vampires; babies with tails; forest; toilet; ultrasound images in technicolour; my baby getting exchanged for another one in the hospital;... and some other unmentionable ones... Yes...that sums it all, at least till now.


Obviously, having being jolted to wakefulness almost every night by this weirdness, the researcher in me got interested in this topic (sleeplessness being the other factor besides academic curiosity) and I studied at least a dozen articles about 'pregnancy and dreams'. I was amazed to discover the wealth of information that 's available (it seems as if pregnant women do nothing else but dream). There are websites and research articles dedicated to this topic, that tell you the interpretation of these dreams... for example what it means if you see 2 kittens; 5 cubs; 9 armed babies etc in your dreams (yes- to that last detail). 


The websites claimed that the themes of most dreams are common among pregnant people, probably because all of us go through a similar gamut of anxiety and hormonal ups and downs. Dreams of preggie women have also been classified as 1st, 2nd and 3rd trimester dreams for purposes of systematic research - really, I had no idea that what I was experiencing was worth such extensive scientific research. So, I felt like a wonderful citizen of the world when I contributed two of my bizarre dreams to one such online forum in order to add to their collection (felt so fulfilled - my pregnancy dreams would be discussed and investigated and will help the world on its way to a new scientific era where people would understand dreams seen by pregnant women!). 


The best part was how relieved I felt when I read the dreams that other pregnant women had posted. All my fears were put at rest about any of my horrifying dreams ever coming true as the ones seen by some other women crossed all boundaries of bizarre. A new Oscar for best imagination needs to be instituted for some of these pregnant women!! 


I am not sharing my dreams here as some of them have the potential to make people sick and I don't want you all spending the rest of the month cleaning the crevices of your keyboards. But I will let you know the six commonest themes that most women see:

1. Water : ocean, bowl of water, toilet bowl, fish in water, swimming pool etc (related with anxiety/ knowledge about baby swimming in the amniotic fluid)
2. Husband/ Partner with other women :mostly super-models with silicon largely figuring in their figures (related with insecurity about your changing body/weight gain etc)
3. Appearance of baby or Baby in distress : baby as a kitten/cub/dinosaur - anything but human; being born with excessive hair; born an adult; being exchanged for another baby in the hospital; having more than required body parts; torturous delivery with a painful expression on the baby's face; baby plopping into the toilet bowl while you are going on with your daily tasks etc (and you thought that horror films were scary!!!) (seen by almost all preggie women - the good news is that there is substantial research to show that this is the best way to release anxiety and tension that women have about their unborn babies and women who see such dreams mostly have hassle free deliveries!)
4. Evolution: seeing one celled creatures changing shapes and sizes till they reach human form - passing from fish...reptile...amphibian... avian...to mammalian state (signifies the process of the baby growing inside the womb starting from a single cell)
5. Freedom: seeing open fields, airplanes, kites, yourself running or participating in adventure sports such as sky diving etc (signifying anxiety about new role as parent and loss of current independence. Fathers- to be also see these dreams!)
6. Change: a new room or balcony in your house; a new car; you staying in another city; you as a queen/ some other profession; you and your partner being reborn as some animals/aliens etc (I know this is weird) (signifies a new event about to happen in life - the baby)

Yes most of the dreams are actually nightmares but they come with the pregnancy package...so, 'sweet and sour dreams to you dear preggies!!'


The scientific explanation for these vivid dreams is, 'the anxiety and apprehension of the pregnant woman (regarding changes in her life/ body; or about the safe arrival of her baby; or its health etc) manifests into dreams'..of course- this does not explain my seeing Salman Khan in a dream. But then you can't explain everything in life! Can you? :-)


Some images from my dreams:

Well I saw a pregnant Phantom and Diana feeding him fruit

Lions and me giving birth to lion cubs - a litter!

I saw a toilet bowl and also the baby plopping in it!

Yes I saw Salman Khan - three times - each time without his shirt and with a baby!

Some interesting websites about pregnancy and dreams if you want to research further:

Very interesting pregnancy dreams decoded

Research Paper

An A-Z guide to interpreting pregnancy dreams

what not to say to pregnant women on bed rest

Having been stuck on the third floor of a lift-less apartment building on account of my slightly complicated pregnancy, I have now compiled a list of TOP 10 things that make bed ridden pregnant women even more miserable...

(this is the small text which people tend to miss in contracts and insurance documents - but is the most significant. Though I have mentioned here how I got irritated/miserable with what my friends and family said to me during my bed rest phase, without them, I couldn't have survived it...They have been my pillar of strength..my connection to the rest of the world...I cherish all the visits and phone calls that they have made/will make...Without them, I would really  be one miserable creature)


One friend asks me: 'Have you seen this latest movie (in this case it was ZNMD- Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara)? By God- its to die for- what amazing cinematography- what story- superb acting...you must see it- its just your kind of movie and you know what happens when this hero gets....'.(HELLO!!- sorry to interrupt but didn't I tell you just 2 seconds ago that I have been advised bed-rest by the doc!!). It is these kinds of friends who make you break your principles and watch pirated CDs...the government must arrest these people to bust the pirated CD racket!!

Another friend asks me in a very concerned voice: 'Did you get to watch this movie?' and before he can go any further, I say- 'Oh yes- I got it from a friend and watched it here..' He made a face that would make any zombie insecure and said, 'What!! you watched it on this tiny computer screen!!! On the big screen its another experience altogether' (WELL thanks!!  This information was really crucial to the development of my baby!! and another thanks for pointing out that my computer is size-zero and good for nothing)


A friend came to see me and to cheer me up she said, 'You don't know what a bundle you are saving...you are on bed rest- you don't need clothes!!' (she meant 'new clothes' to go with my changing size - but I had been looking forward to go about the town in stylish maternity clothes in which you can have as many tyres of fat oozing out of your body and yet people will give you those adoring glances and sweet smiles!!) So here I am in my rags...saving money on clothes...but getting whooping phone bills on account of the 'resting' state ( but the tongue never rests)...not to mention the gigantic AC bill as nowadays I feel that I'll melt in the heat. So, clothes or no clothes...expenditure is a norm when you are pregnant whether mobile or on bed rest!!

Number four is the most interesting as almost every friend who is a mom or dad has told me this: 'Abhi so lo jitna sona hai....baad mein taras jaaogi' meaning 'Sleep as much as you can while you have this chance...afterwards with the baby you won't get to sleep at all' (for those of you who are thinking exactly what problem could I have with this piece of good advice, I request you to transport yourselves to the days when we had our exams in school and we felt so sleepy and yet, in order to study, we had to keep our eyes open. Wouldn't it have been wonderful if we could sleep for one month and stay awake the next month when we had our exams??) Even if I sleep now (all the time as suggested), will it guarantee full energy and wide-eyed wakefulness once the baby is born?? Please tell me......please please...if yes, then I am ready to take some inspiration from 'Kumbhkaran'.


What can I say about this one: 'Please take a lot of rest' (Do you see me running a marathon or jumping around? Then why are you telling me to do exactly what I am doing 24X7 already?)

This one came from a friend who is also pregnant right now. She called me up and told me ' I went to this XYZ Spa today and got a relaxing facial and massage...feel like a million dollars...you know they have a special package to pamper pregnant women!' (waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! this is me trying to cry and scream and pull my hair at the same time - difficult task - as I was also holding my phone listening to her) How could she do this to me- a knife in the heart!! I muttered 'Et tu Brute' under my breath and felt like Julius Caesar...I was sooooo jealous that my ears became warm. But then she told me that she went there because she had this very bad episode of morning sickness with a lot of puking and that she had been vomiting on and off every 3-4 hours and how her car seats had to be dry cleaned twice in a a week etc. So, she really needed some TLC (tender love n care)...Immediately the temperature of my ears returned to normal and I began sympathizing with her...though I really wanted to rub in the fact that I didn't even puke once in my preggie state!!!

This one is something that every pregnant woman hears from some source or the other....'you must sleep on time, eat on time, read good (they mostly mean spiritual) books, listen to good (here they mean meditative) music... All this will affect your baby......the baby will always sleep late if you sleep late etc etc. (Now as a resting preggie I really depend on those racy thrillers  to keep me company - and where is the thrill and mystery if they don't have a murder or two, at least one kidnapping, a rape etc???) (And why would I want my baby to listen to the recorded sound of water flowing over pebbles and birds chirping when s/he can experience it for real? As far as developing an appreciation for music goes, I think pregnant women should listen to all genres..) (And if the baby depends so much on my sleeping... my baby will surely be a lazy bum - a sloth in human garb...because the mother doesn't have a choice but to keep resting to bring her/him into this world! Suddenly, heredity will have no say and it won't matter if the mother and father are super-active otherwise) 


This one comes from my doctor friend (the one I've mentioned in a previous post). She keeps telling me that she knows of two such pregnant women who spent the entire 9 months on bed. They were not even allowed bathroom breaks like me and had a bed pan...She keeps telling me that I should be grateful that I am allowed to sit at the table and have my meals.. (Why? I also have the right to complain about my condition when I see pregnant women who go to office till the last day and I can't....why can't I compare myself to preggies who go and watch movies, go out for dinner...) So I will continue asking her 'Why me?' even if she keeps scolding me...more than 25 years of friendship give you many such exclusive rights. (yes you read correctly- 25years!!)

Do you know what a 'babymoon' is? I do now and will elucidate it here: A babymoon includes some ' "last hurrah" trips for parents-to-be providing the perfect setting to relax and reconnect as a couple before entering parenthood" .A pregnant friend (another one) calls up one day, jumping with joy, 'We are going for a babymoon to Bali'. Though I have to accept here that she did not know about the bed-rest clause in my pregnancy so she was just sharing her excitement which I could not share equally. (It is not easy spending all your time indoors...one gets really tired of the same walls, the same switchboard and tubelight and lamp and of course the same bed...however bright bed sheet one may use). Actually, pregnant women on bed rest must not feel bad about not being able to go on a babymoon because their doctors (like mine) must have given strict instructions with these two words loudest of all, 'No Sex'. My doctor  told me that the bed has to be used as a place of rest and nothing else for the next 6 months!!! Then she thought a little more and said, 'that doesn't open the option of doing it elsewhere in the house! You cannot risk going further than a cuddle or hug!!!!' IMAGINE!!! what opinion she must have had of me!!! Even if I would have made it to a babymoon on a stretcher, I would just be looking out of the hotel room window - May be I'll ask my husband to get a poster of an exotic beach location, stick it on the wall in front of me and dress up in beach wear and lie in front of the poster to give me the 'feel' - we could have the sound of sea waves in the background too!! (He'll kill me when he reads this!)


This usually comes from elder women in the family, aunties or didis- women more experienced in pregnancy than you..They tell you, 'Don't care about what the doctor says beta, you have to keep your husband's attention...All husbands are attracted towards other women when their wife is pregnant...after the third month there is no issue' Basically, they are encouraging me to do it with my hubby occasionally even when I am on bed rest. (Ok aunties so when did you all receive your doctorate in gynaecology? On one hand my doctor tells me to be careful even when I sit or stand so that there is minimum impact and on the other I am being cheered on for frequent humping (please excuse my language)). I was slightly bothered by this and asked my husband 'are you looking at other women nowadays?' He said 'that I do all the time...why is nowadays important?' so I asked him, 'do you find them more attractive than me? you know me being pregnant and all?' He answered 'Nobody in his right mind would answer 'yes' to that question! By the way, have you lost your mind or something'. He is right - I was being paranoid...On a more serious note, fathers-to-be have so much on their minds that even looking at other women amounts to additional work. Why do people always have to put men down to that level as if they are incapable of anything else. If it is important for the safety of the baby, its not a big deal for both the mother and father to go without sex - 'its just temporary and not impossible Aunty!!!'

some laughs!!

As I have been worried about some blood tests lately, I've not been able to focus on my writing. By the time I collect my courage and wait for the results, I'll share some fun 'pregnancy' jokes  featuring 'men'...that helped cheer me up (compiled from various internet sources)...Enjoy!!!:


After a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh for some ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth . Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. The TT also could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so he said it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."




A Husband made a call to the Hospital to know about his pregnant Wife. But accidentally the call went to a Cricket stadium. He asked, "What is the condition?" He fainted after hearing the reply, which said, "7 are already out... 3 more to get after Lunch...and...two were Ducks..."




A tense man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is eight months pregnant and she is crying in pain!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"




A pregnant lady was in an accident and she woke up in the hospital. She noticed she was not pregnant anymore and asked the nurse what happened to her baby.
The nurse said, "You have two healthy babies, a boy and a girl!" The lady said, "Oh, I must name them,"  but the nurse said, "You were unconscious, so we called your brother, and he named them!"
The lady said, "But he's as dumb as a box of rocks! So what are their names?"
The nurse said, "The girl is called "Denise." The woman replied, "Well that is a pretty name, so what did he name my boy?"The nurse replied, "Denephew!"


A young man said to his girlfriend's father, "I realize that this is only a formality, but would you mind me marrying your daughter?" 
"Who says it's ONLY A FORMALITY?" asked the father angrily.
"Her obstetrician!" replied the young man.

A college lecturer sets her class a fun competition. She asks them to write as short a story as possible containing the three topics i.e. religion, sexuality and mystery. The guy who got the first prize wrote "My god, I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"




A woman went to the doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?"
The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.
"Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"


Father to daughter: I don't like this guy Fred. He has no brains and he is rough and looks like a gangster. You must stop seeing him
Daughter: Oh no Father... I think Fred is really clever. I have been seeing him for 2-3 months only and he has already cured me of that sickness that used to happen to me every month!!


"I'm really worried," exclaimed Sam.
"Why?" Pete asked. 
"Well, my wife read `A Tale of Two Cities' and we had twins. 
Later she read `The Three Musketeers' and we had triplets. 
Now she's reading `Birth of a Nation!"

Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..."

"I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I get asked this all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
"No, that's not it at all," Brenda said. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn

A lady, about seven months pregnant, got onto a streetcar and sat down upon which she noticed the man opposite her smiling.  Feeling humiliated, she changed her seat. This time his smile turned into a grin, so she changed her seat again.  The man seemed more amused than ever, so again she moved, and immediately the man burst into laughter. Feeling highly insulted the woman complained to the conductor who had the man arrested.

The case came up in court and the judge asked the man if he had anything to say, whereupon the man replied, "Well your honor, it was this way.  When the lady got on the car I could not help but notice her condition, which in itself did not amuse me a bit, but when she sat down under a sign that read "THE GOLD DUST TWINS ARE COMING," I had to smile. Then when she moved and sat down under another sign which read, "SLOANS LINIMENT WILL REDUCE THAT SWELLING," I was forced to grin. Then she got up and moved under a sign that read "WILLIAMS STICK DID IT!" I thought that was about the limit. The final straw was when she got up again and moved under the sign which read "GOODYEAR RUBBER WOULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS ACCIDENT," I just lost control of myself!"

The teacher asked her children's art class to draw on the blackboard their impressions of the most exciting thing they could think of. One little boy got up and drew a long jagged line
"What's that?" asked the teacher.
"Lightening," said the boy.  "Every time I see lightening I get so excited I scream!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next, a little girl drew a wavy line with the broad side of the chalk and explained that was her idea of thunder, which always excited her. The teacher thought that was excellent.
Then little Jerry stepped to the board and made a single dot and sat down.
"What's that?" queried the teacher, a bit perplexed.
"It's a period," replied Jerry.
"Well, Jerry, now what's so exciting about a period?"
"I don't know, teacher," the boy replied, "but my sister missed two of 'em and my whole family's excited!"

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor when the nurse walked out and said to a man sitting there, "Congratulations sir, you're the new 
father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that! I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mrs. Smith had just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for 3M!"
When the nurse appeared next, she told the third man that his wife had given birth to quadruplets. "That's amazing! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"
At this point the gentleman sitting next to me let out a little strangled gasp and hurriedly got up, obviously distraught. When I asked him if he was okay, he explained, "I think I need a
breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I'm the casting director for 101 Dalmatians."

That's all for now...till my next post...keep smiling!!!

if you are pregnant, anything can happen!!

A friend forwarded this and I had to share it here!!! 

good that she wasn't watching Species...
otherwise we wouldn't be here to read this

The tussle between suggestions and following them- Part 3

I am hardly halfway through my pregnancy and I have started getting suggestions about the delivery: two opposing suggestions:


Suggestion: You could go for a painless delivery (with an epidural - an injection that numbs the lower part of the body and helps in a painless delivery - i think a wonderful invention of science))
Opposing Suggestion: You should let the delivery take its normal course and experience labour pains..we were never created for painless deliveries!!


Real Life
I am confused....and also think that the delivery is still a long time away....


So, I asked some of my experienced friends (who are already moms; have given birth; are doctors etc) for some practical advice. It was a silly move on my part - I stand even more confused now!! But I'll share the stories/suggestions here for mitigating my confusion. Let's name these friends A, B, C, D and E and here are their experiences:


'A' (a friend from college) had 28 hours of excruciating labour pain and her screams could be heard outside the hospital!...She refused to go for an epidural as she wanted to have the most natural delivery possible (why???) ...and this very same friend was scared of not only cockroaches but the most harmless creatures in God's world i.e.earthworms!! (sometimes you think you know your friends and then you realize how wrong you were) She told me that she read somewhere (another suggestion) that she wouldn't feel like a real mother if she doesn't go through the labour pain..(I wanted to tell her that it was a bunch of crap but seeing the glow of pride on her face, I stopped myself just in time) Still her story added to my confusion nevertheless as I did not want to feel like an 'unreal' mother!!


'B' described her delivery with such gory details that I was forced to wonder why she was such a dud in writing essays in school. But she was very truthful in admitting that after a couple of hours of pain, when the doc suggested an epidural, she readily agreed...not finding it useful to kill herself before her baby was born (what common sense!). But she told me that taking an epidural makes the mother so numb waist-down that she is not able to push properly and hence the baby has to be assisted at birth using forceps or vaccum pump. Her baby was born with the help of a vaccum pump (and she proudly compares it to Kareena Kapoor's elder sister's delivery in the movie Three Idiots...to give me a better picture). So that still left the lingering question of whether or not to get an epidural as these forceps or vaccum things could create a problem!


'C' was most experienced - two children - first normal delivery, second C-Section. Her first baby was born in the US where she told me that giving an epidural is part of the procedure unless you have an allergy to it. She said 'everybody over there has painless deliveries' (thus erasing all sense of guilt from my mind for having called the epidural a great invention)...The next baby was born in India and was a C-Section and for that, an epidural or other kind of anesthesia is mandatory to be administered. But before I could heave a sigh of relief, she went ahead and told me what went wrong! Well somehow, they had jabbed the epidural at a wrong location or something so its effect was milder than normal and she could feel the doc cutting open her abdomen!!!! (feel it - now what kind of a feeling is that!!!!) but she informed me that there was no major pain, just some sensation of being ripped apart!!! Yes...Right....Thank you very much!! 


'D' turned out to be a big supporter of epidurals, anesthetics, pain killers in general and asked me why were they made if not to be used at the right time (probably she is right). She has two children - the elder one, her daughter, was born with an epidural and she said that she felt quite good about the delivery as her daughter had taken 14 hours to pop out after the labour pains started...so imagine that without an epidural! But she went ahead and explained to me that getting an epidural does not mean 'no labour pain' - it just means no pain during delivery - what an eye-opener (and I was comparing a painless delivery to a walk in the garden). Then, I inquired about her son's birth...She gave me  a dazzling smile and said...'Oh! I got an epidural at his time also but he was born in 12 minutes and the epidural takes at least half an hour to take effect'!!!! Beautiful! 


'E' is a very good friend and a no- nonsense doctor...When I inquired about epidurals very nonchalantly as if it were for an acquaintance, she immediately saw through me. She told me to shut my trap (literally) and stop reading shit on the internet (she is herself a grade 1 luddite (a person who fears or loathes technology)). She scolded me like a grandmother and said that 'Every pregnancy is different and you never know what will happen when you are about to deliver' (as if after hearing 1000 stories- all of them different, I didn't know that much). Basically, she conveyed to me that when the push comes to shove (pun unintended), then we'll see!!!
Of course she couldn't stop herself from narrating a story about a breech baby (everybody has this urge of topping all the stories that I have already heard).......
Unwittingly, she has made me navigate from epidurals to breech babies on the world wide web to enhance my knowledge!!!! (my resolve is even stronger after I saw that my latest scan said - 'baby is extended breech!!')




Note: Pleeeeease do not google any images of epidural needles or injections or procedure of administration if you ever want to get one!!!

just for fun

Some good advice for moms who need some rest at night!!!