An article from Katie Moore - 'tips for expecting mothers'

I don't know Katie Moore any moore than you but when she wrote to me saying that she found my blog very interesting and enjoyed its content, I was slightly flattered like any normal human being.

It clearly showed that there were some people out there reading my blog posts on their own account.......not after being sent a link....or after being pestered by me!!!!! Well, she asked me if I could include one of her articles as a post on my blog....

Elementary is the conclusion then my dear Watson.........as to what my response to her was: 'I'll be very happy to accommodate your article in my blog Katie'........so here it is - a little different from my style of writing and more directly related to pregnancy but all that is not important....what matters is that she enjoyed reading my blog!!!!

Katie's article:

Tips for Expectant Mothers Preparing for Their New Babies

Expecting a baby is an exciting and overwhelming time for new mothers, so being prepared with some helpful tips to keep in mind along the way makes for a smooth transition into motherhood.

• During pregnancy, the expectant mother's body goes through many changes as she hosts the growing baby. Maintaining good prenatal fitness, healthy eating for two and comfortable sleeping habits are important for a healthy pregnancy and recovery time post-childbirth. 

• There are various birthing options available and a variety of birthing classes to guide mothers-to-be in breathing techniques, breastfeeding and caring for a newborn. There are also advanced procedures to consider, like cord blood banking, that enable mothers the opportunity to collect and preserve their baby's umbilical cord blood stem cells. The benefit of this procedure is that the cord blood may be used in to help treat a number of medical conditions, should one of them afflict the child or possibly a sibling. Expectant mothers should also select a pediatrician, before delivery, to serve as the baby's doctor post-childbirth. This way the mother ensures she is working with someone she is comfortable with.

• Since mother and baby will spend a lot of time in the nursery, creating a space that's comfortable, functional and mom-friendly is essential. Mothers should invest in a glider or rocker for feeding the baby with a corresponding side table and lamp to provide easy access to baby essentials like burping clothes and bottles.

• While babies do not become mobile until they are between six and nine months, baby proofing the house in advance, like outlet covers and baby gates, will ensure a pro-active approach to the child's safety.

• When packing a hospital bag, expectant mothers should stick to basics like pajamas, undergarments, brush, hair tie, tooth brush and tooth paste. Mothers may also want to bring magazines, a book, or an iPod to help them relax, and a digital camera for after the baby arrives.

• Expectant mothers will also want to pack a bag for the baby, and prepare the car. Babies will need receiving blankets, pajamas, pacifiers, hats, booties and disposable diapers. Having the car seat installed, plenty of gas in the car and a planned route to the hospital adds a sense of ease on delivery day.

• When labor starts, most women are usually more comfortable in their home environments for as long as possible, so calling the physician to discuss the status of contractions is important in knowing when it's time to go to the hospital.

• It is often not permitted to eat or drink until after the baby is born once in the hospital. Eating bread, cereals, yogurt, bananas or pasta prior to arriving will help the expectant mother store up energy for the work ahead.

• Upon arrival, mothers must fill out insurance forms and check-in paperwork before being issued a hospital bracelet and taken to the labor and delivery room. Some hospitals allow mothers to pre-register which will allow her to go right into the hospital and begin focusing on delivery instead of paperwork.

After birth, the new mother's body begins to adjust back to its pre-pregnancy state and powerful emotions sink in. Getting plenty of rest and utilizing the hospital resources post-childbirth during this initial recovery phase will help the new mother prepare for the moment she and the new baby can finally go home.

This article was written by Katie Moore. Katie is an active writer within the blogging community who discusses maternity, motherhood, prenatal health, childbirth and other topics within this niche.  If you have any questions or would like to connect with Katie please contact by visiting her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter @moorekm26.

Krishna - Avatar

the draft of this post was written when I was 8 months pregnant...now my daughter is 8 months old....and I did not get time to edit and post it since then...

It was Krishna's (see photo below) birthday last month i.e.Janamashthami and I received a truckload of blessings from elders. 'S' (my preggie friend I've mentioned before) was also swamped with blessings and got a baby Krishna calender as a bonus!

The only problem I had with these blessings was the assumption that Krishna has nothing else to do in this world but be born as my son!!

and WHY ONLY as a SON!! WHY NOT as a DAUGHTER???

A well-meaning mausi blessed me saying 'murli bajate hue Krishna Bhagwaan aayenge tumhare ghar' (meaning Krishna will be born to you playing his flute)...Now, how on earth am I going to accomplish the task of giving birth to a baby as well as a flute.....Please send in your suggestions..

Plus, I also have a 50-50 possibility of having a daughter - this doesn't occur to people in our son-obsessed country when they bless pregnant women (remember age old blessings like shat-putravati bhav meaning may you have 100 sons - there is no parallel blessing for having a 100 daughters)!!

Don't these people know that the sex of the baby is decided quite instantly after having successful sex for the purpose...and not even a million blessings in the coming months can change the chromosomal design. Brush up your school biology lessons people!! high time!! and wish for the family's health, wealth and wisdom instead..

ok...Let me get on with my friend's story...

Her mom had come to help around the household... For S it meant - good bye to privacy/ decision making/etc...From what to eat through the day...to sleeping postures to political affiliations ( :-D kidding), aunty had ever-ready advice for S.

Let's fast forward to the Janamashthami weekend...Aunty was doing her usual meddling around in the kitchen while S was watching TV. Suddenly the television screen went blank. S looked up to see her mom standing there with hands on her waist staring accusingly at her (imagine a strict primary school teacher who has just caught a toddler drawing on the wall with crayons- that kind of expression)...

Aunty had switched off the TV...you want to know WHY?? 

Because S was watching 'Avatar'!!! For those of you like me and S who could not catch this Oscar nominated movie on the big screen, this Janamashthami weekend came as a pleasant surprise as the film was shown on Star Movies and repeatedly telecast at least 8 times- so you couldn't miss it! BUT, HER MOTHER PROHIBITED HER FROM WATCHING EVEN A TRAILER OF IT

'But Why?', you all must be wondering. Well, Aunty's take on the issue was very scientific - she said, 'yeh kya hain -poonch vaale ajeeb neele neele aadhe jaanvar aadhe insaan - isko dekh ke bachche par galat asar padega' (meaning: what are these weird blue-blue creatures with a tail- half human- half animal- seeing this will be bad for the baby).


(James Cameron will have a fit if he hears this description of the graceful beings his highly-paid design team had created!!) 


S was really pissed when she called me and I gave her really good (I think) arguments to convince aunty...

First idea: I suggested that she should tell aunty that the baby doesn't have X-ray vision so she needn't worry about the bad effect - this idea flopped miserably when S was asked to shut up and listen to some bhajans.


Second Idea: I told S to strongly fight for her right and she did - 'thousands of pregnant women all over the world have seen this movie mummy...you think all their babies have been affected/ deformed...what a ridiculous thi....' of course before she could finish her very emotional outburst, aunty snapped, 'those thousands of women are not my daughters so I don't care!!' 


hmmmmmmmmm...that really was like a final warning from aunty and Avatar had already been shown thrice...we had 5 more chances of convincing aunty


Third/ fourth/Fifth Ideas: Bribery; threats and pleading...all were stonewalled. S called me up, exhausted after the effort and said that aunty had insisted that she watch Ramayan with her and that is what she was going to do....


A bell started ringing in my head!!! She was going to watch Ramayan!! HELLO!! EXCUSE ME!! I was appalled at the double standards of the whole issue... I told S to remind aunty that Ramayan had Hanuman ji who also has a poonch (tail) and  the entire vaanar sena had tails and monkey faces. I asked her to point at the Krishna calender and ask aunty, 'Mummy do you think this is normal skin colour?? Please put on your glasses and see carefully- this colour is 'blue'!!'  And while on this topic, I asked her to rub it in really well- to show aunty images of Ram- blue; Shiv- blue; Vishnu- blue!! Brahma with 4 heads and Durga with 12 hands and Ganesha with elephant head ... ....phew!!!

Blue and White!!

the Avatar look was inspired by figures from Hindu mythology

S, like a good friend followed my advice and told aunty not to be racist and that she had no right to judge people by skin colour; facial features and presence or absence of tails etc..

All in vain....as aunty then used the oldest weapon in the world that can win all battles - tears!!! She put on a miserable expression of shock; sadness; anger- all mixed up. Now, S wanted to tell aunty that such a distorted face of the grandmother would definitely affect the child but checked herself just in time to be saved from being washed away in tears..and said, 'OK Mummy...I won't see it'...(the main reason being that the last and eighth repeat telecast was already half way through)



So S started reading a book...grew bored after reading seven and a half lines...went to check on aunty's mood...

Aunty was watching TV with full concentration (established by her half-open mouth and eyes glued to screen). The tears had vanished as if they had never come. 

On the screen was a woman with a vamp-like smile...wearing bright red lipstick; multi- layered make-up; thick swathes of purple eye liner on the eyelids and thicker swathes of a green one under the eyes...fake eyelashes reaching her chin; fake hair mounted on the top of her head like an inverted ice cream cone....

S instinctively and immediately looked away from the screen...afraid that the sight may affect the baby badly!!!!
At that very moment, aunty patted the sofa next to her and said 'aao baitho yeh dekho...bada hi interesting plot hai!!' (come sit..see this - it has a very interesting plot!!)   :-)

What an Idea Woody Allen Sir ji

Isn't it brilliant- had to add this in the blog!!

The event of pregnancy

One of my close friends is doing her PhD fieldwork for which she is conducting surveys in certain backward regions of our country and meeting really poor families...She couldn't decide whether to be sad seeing their helplessness and misery or happy perceiving their wonderful aspirations/dreams.

She happened to call me up on one of the days when she was 'sad' and I was telling her about an expensive test I had to undergo to assess the development of the foetus (my baby). She said pointedly...'you know, for women like us, pregnancy is an event - a huge event - but for many women who have 6-7 kids on an average it becomes a non-event...and they also have to slog through all their pregnancies as they don't have any way out'. (by 'women like us', she meant educated women who can opt for a late pregnancy and can afford all expensive care/tests etc. that is available)

Well, I agree and disagree with her - I think getting pregnant is a huge event for any woman even if it is for the hundredth time  - every time it leads to a gigantic change in her life albeit in the form of a tiny baby. But I do agree that for most women in our country, pregnancy comes and goes with so many responsibilities and burdens that they cannot pay special attention to 'being pregnant'.

Have you ever asked your mothers/ aunts/ friends' mothers about the time when they were pregnant? I made that mistake unknowingly at first and knowingly afterwards just to hear some fun stories...though each of them were a comparative analysis of how easy it is for us and how difficult it was for them...sometimes I wanted to retaliate with a smart remark like 'times have changed aunty'....or make a face showing my disapproval of this comparison......but then one can always adjust one's facial expressions for beloved aunties....:-)

Their stories were all about having to wash clothes; cook food for a family of 20 (an average calculated from all stories that I heard); clean and sweep house; take care of other children of family (not only their own); have the delivery at home and not spending so much money on thousands of tests like me!!! what did I have to do? REST...REST...REST and then TEST...TEST...TEST...and write a silly blog during my pregnancy...I guess, I am just plain lucky - if being stuck on the third floor; or having nightmares before every blood test; or having almost all complications a pregnant woman can have can be called lucky.

These very moms and aunties insist that their daughters etc. have every available test done - as they can afford it (and basically because such tests have been discovered now and weren't there in their times). So if I had put my foot down that I wanted to do housework and go to office during pregnancy and not get any tests done (like they did), it is these very same moms/aunties that would have kicked me on the behind and told me to shut-up and do what the doctor says. So, the crux is to smilingly listen to all the stories in which each one will glorify her own 'event' of pregnancy...and save some juicy pieces to pass on to your own daughter/ daughter-in-law when they get a hundred more tests done when they become pregnant.. (or may-be by that time a single WONDER-TEST will be discovered which will be able to tell you all about the baby...oh how I wish I could be born then... as right now my arms and wrists have a perforated appearance owing to the hundreds of blood(y) tests.)

I think every woman has her own share of pregnancy problems....and her store of experiences gets replenished every time she gets preggie, so by the time she is pregnant for a third or fourth time she can easily treat the pregnancy as a 'non-event'. She would already know (most of the times) what to do when something goes wrong and wouldn't panic like the first time - An 'oh! I puked twice - what to do?' kind of panic!

Sometimes multiple pregnancies and lots of kids steal the importance that could have been given to one or two. Then, the 'event of pregnancy' may become a mere occurrence...as normal as changing of seasons..and related to this, I want to tell you all a story:

'Once upon a time, in the year 1612, a teenage prince of a vast and great kingdom married a ravishingly beautiful teenage girl. He eventually became King and had a number of wives...but all his attention was riveted on this particular wife who he made his main queen and partner....and never let her out of his sight.... he was madly in love with her....so much so that she accompanied him to all the wars and battles he was fighting to expand his kingdom. She was not literally fighting in the battles but used to wait in the army camp for her king to return. People say that their's was a perfect marriage built on deepest love...and when she died in 1631 at the age of 38, the prince  went into two years of mourning. In fact historians have recorded how his hair and beard turned grey overnight due to grief and how tears kept flowing non-stop from his eyes...He finally paid  a great tribute to his best friend and beloved wife - he had a mausoleum built to house her remains...and mind you not an ordinary one............He had the Taj Mahal built in her remembrance...'

The Taj Mahal - image from Google images

So, you all know now that this is the story of  Shah Jahan and his queen Mumtaz Mahal. Those of you dabbing their eyes with their hankies and sniffling on hearing this tragic love story, there are many more people like you who glorify the Taj Mahal as a symbol of true love...etc etc but I think otherwise...presenting my thoughts in bullets so that they pass through thick skulls and mushy brains :-)

• Mumtaz Mahal was just 38 when she died and she had already mothered 14 children and had had at least a dozen miscarriages (historians dispute over the number of miscarriages but the 14 births are recorded)!!
• She was married to Shah Jahan in 1612 and died in 1631...so they were married for 19 years out of which she was pregnant for FOURTEEN years and had some miscarriages also!!
• She was not the only wife to Shah Jahan...There were many others.
• She accompanied Shah Jahan to his battlefields and on almost all of these occasions she was pregnant.
• She died in one such battle camp while giving birth to her fourteenth child.
• Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal - an architectural marvel in her memory.

So, my argument is whether this was Shah Jahan's love or his selfishness/eccentricity? Agreed..that he loved her deeply..but sometimes loving means thinking of the other's comfort...not taking her with you on the battlefield when she is pregnant and specially when you have  luxurious palaces back home in Agra and Delhi..

I am sure the other queens were more than happy not to be loved soooo much by the king...as they got to enjoy royal comforts while the perpetually pregnant Mumtaz bore children as well as risks to life in battle camps. No wonder, 7 of the 14 children died at an early age (what a pity!).

This is the great love people have written about...where the guy wants the woman next to him at all times (read 'great love') so that he could make out with her whenever the opportunity - 'oh! the soldiers are taking a water break..let me go and make Mumtaz pregnant!! oh!! but I can't do that because her waters are breaking!!!!'                                                            
                                                                                                                                     photo of Mumtaz from wikipaedia

Jokes at the expense of the poor woman aside...but what else explains this lunacy? I'm sure Mumtaz was also bonkers, not protesting...If Shah Jahan had multiple wives, he could have had a rotation schedule...and could have given Mumtaz some break and taken other queens with him to some battles but NO...he loved her too much to leave her in the comfort of a palace.

Yes Yes...I know some of you will come up with the argument that there were no condoms at that time and contraceptives were banned by religion.......but common sense was not banned na?? They could have taken a break of a year here and a year there....and Mumtaz would have lived a longer, healthier and more fulfilling life...................but then we wouldn't have had the Taj Mahal... (Shah Jahan was imprisoned by his son later in life...if Mumtaz would be alive...I'm sure Shah Jahan would have insisted that she accompany him to the prison too!! and of course that would have meant no Taj Mahal)..

So, I don't know whether Mumtaz considered each of her pregnancies to be an 'event' but she was definitely the one  behind one of the most marvellous events in India's history- the creation of the Taj Mahal..

Don't you wish that Men could be pregnant too?

NO - I did not forget the blogger password - nor did my labour start before time...I just became a full time mom to a toddler...my sister's daughter!!


The whole day passes in a blink...no time to blog....


Finally after almost a month's break - I am back....and my news is that the labour pains/ water break/ other alarms can go off any time for me now- my bag is ready but I am not!! Excited about having reached so close to finish line but also nervous that this finish line alternates as a 'start' line for a new phase in life!!!


OK...enough about me...now some serious discussion on why men should be pregnant too!!!


Through this post, I would like to present to you the most sensitive males in the world  - sea horses, pipe fish, sea dragons... (No...please don't pick up your phones to call me up to check my mental well-being). Actually, sea horses, pipe fish and sea dragons are the only creatures in the world where the males of the species gets pregnant!! What a blissful state of affairs for the sea mares, the female pipe fish and the she-sea-dragons!!
(I have already started praying to be born as a beautiful (female) leafy sea dragon or sea horse in my next life)... 

  

sea horse

So as a sexy sea-mare in my next life, once we (my sea horse and I) decide to have babies, the only thing I would have to do is to go and lay eggs in my partner's pouch. The eggs will get fertilized in the pouch and babies will grow in Daddy's tummy till they are smart enough to come out and face the world after many weeks!! Not only this - to make me deposit my eggs in his pouch, my sea horse will have to compete with other horses to make himself most attractive  for me!

leafy sea dragon

He will flash bright colours at me...change from yellow to pink to orange...just to please me and then....if I am pleased enough, we will perform a courtship dance that will last for several hours...spiralling up and down the water...before I deposit my eggs in him. Phew! that would be some extensive foreplay!! When gestation ends, the sea horse would have contractions (similar to labour but more like sneezing - if you click the link- you can see a video of this - only if you are interested in seeing a sea horse in labour and delivery) and tiny babies will emerge from the pouch!! Beautiful story!!

green pipefish

Okay!!! I know some of you want me to get over my National Geographic documentary mode...So coming back to the present reality...I am actually a pregnant human woman (is that even correct English??)!! How I wish there was some kind of biologically viable pregnancy sharing mechanism between me and my husband.. for e.g. if only he could be pregnant for one trimester! I am not saying this only because I want my pregnancy woes to be shared (that too of course!)...I also want him to feel the amazement.. the pure delight and wonder that I feel sometimes (one has to write such statements to add pathos to the story!!). I feel, men have not been given a fair deal in this respect..Some of the sensitive ones (like my husband) feel left out and don't know how to compensate for not being able to get pregnant..

It was while I was thinking about this unfair world and sea horses, that I noticed that my husband  was also showing some pregnancy-like symptoms such as bouts of moodiness and depression and was dreaming weird dreams..In fact he also developed some skin rash and had to visit a dermatologist. And I had thought that this is the only time in my life when I had the exclusive right to be the centre of everybody's attention!! The thoughts that crossed my mind were primarily 'if he has so many 'nakhras' and is exhibiting half the symptoms- he might as well be pregnant for half the time!!' Then a friend came and asked whether my hubby was experiencing 'phantom pregnancy symptoms'...Mere toe kaan khade ho gaye (literal translation in English is  'my ears stood up'!!). What 'phantom'??? Why not 'real'...I thought this must be a gimmick created by the male world..just to be part of the 'exclusive preggie club' that is only for women..


So, as usual, I started elaborate research on this topic - 'male pregnancy'. The crux, I present here:


I thought I could find some actual/scientific technique to share my pregnancy with my husband but all I found was mushy/squishy stuff about 'how husbands could be supportive during their wives' pregnancies'; 'what daddy-to-be should be doing' etc..(that doesn't even get close to being pregnant) and I also realized that if there was even a trace of such a technique available anywhere in the world, every woman under the sky would have known about it.

But, it soon got more interesting - I came across a website that is monitoring the pregnancy of a man - a Mr. Lee Mingwei who voluntarily became pregnant and you can find his ultrasounds/ daily diary/ BP etc. on this website.  It seems authentic -there is a hospital/ real doctors involved and this guy has been interviewed by Oprah!! But then I came across an article that said this was a hoax (hoax!! to fool whom?? and I am interested in knowing how they manufactured a hoax Oprah show?) 

Hoaxes aside, I found out that some transgender males have given birth to babies (they had the necessary equipment- the female reproductive system that they made full use of). And, just because they are transgender, they got to cover pages of magazines and their interviews splashed across tabloids- WHAT ABOUT US- pregnant women - nobody came to interview me...In fact I kept waiting for a phone call for something related to pregnancy - at least some survey.. that also did not happen...:-(


My main discovery was the 'Couvade's Syndrome' and I quote from a website: 'Have you recently caught your husband sneaking your favorite pregnancy foods from the pantry? Is he suddenly just as emotional and nauseous as you? The reason may be Couvade Syndrome.' So that was what was happening to my husband - ahem!! sounds very elite- this Couvade's thing - as if it is some award!! It is so common that there are articles about it all over the internet and also on the BBC site - 'Men suffer from phantom pregnancy' 

In extreme cases of this syndrome, men have been known to have labour pains...and also gain weight around the middle till the 9th month like pregnant women!! Thank God, my husband was only feeling nauseous...otherwise one can only imagine the confusion in the labour room..nurses trying to figure out who is going to deliver - me or the husband...and doctors flabbergasted to see a man with a long beard...or rather a pregnant man with a long beard (we could leave out the beard as 'pregnant man' causes sufficient surprise but the beard adds to the confusion - imagine people looking at the tummy then at the beard then again at the tummy then up at the beard then down at the tummy then again at the beard then....OK OK I'll stop...those of you with good imagination must have got the picture... ;-) 

 


For people who are further interested in this concept of men being pregnant or other interesting ways of having children, I want to recommend some wonderful books to read...
The Pregnant King by Devdutt Pattanaik
The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin
The Ethan of Athos  by Lois McMaster Bujold
Woman on the Edge of Time by Marge Piercy