Last week, one of my friends discovered that she was pregnant...she called me up and said that it was all because of reading my blog (I insisted that she give a little credit to her husband too but she just wouldn't hear of it). She had been indecisive about having a baby and wanted to thank me as she got that last moment 'push' (let's say encouragement) from my stories... (and here I was thinking that people reading all this stuff will think at least twice before having a baby!!)
'and...', she said 'my husband refuses to believe that I'm pregnant!!!!'...He told her, 'O come on...don't try and fool me...you're not pregnant....you're not even puking!!!' Even when she showed him the two lines on the four pregnancy tests that she had done to confirm it herself, he looked quite skeptical about the whole thing because she hadn't vomited!!
This is what happens when one has been fed on a healthy dose of Hindi cinema since childhood!! (actually only about 55% of pregnant women show this symptom of early pregnancy - good, I was not among them)
Don't you all remember the film 'Aradhana'? I think it marked my entry into adulthood - I got to know that one could get pregnant by spending (quality) time with a guy alone! It was quite a breath of fresh air after seeing scenes of two flowers touching and two birds touching their beaks on screen and suddenly in the next scene a woman got pregnant and started puking (very confusing for teenagers)!!
Remember...the 'roop tera mastana' song around a bonfire...the hero and heroine alone in the wilderness, needing each other's warmth in the extreme cold weather......and the next scene shows Sharmila Tagore going 'AWWWWWWGWWAAAWWWW' - puking and indicating to the audience that she is pregnant....and the audience emiting a collective HAW!!
Hindi films showing pre-marital pregnancy use this most visually obvious symptom of pregnancy-puking/ vomiting/ throwing up or 'morning sickness' (nothing scientific about the nomenclature as morning sickness can happen at any time of the day!).It is used in films because of its audio-visual appeal! Women don't develop baby bumps overnight otherwise it would have been easy for film makers. Other signs of pregnancy are not very obvious (except to the pregnant woman), so they don't work on screen..
only 'Awwwwwwwuuu... aaawwwwww.... auuwwwwwww' works!!!!
The only other thing that works is to say it clearly...'Main tumhare bachche ki ma banne vaali hoon (I am going to become the mother of your child - sounds quite weird in English) or get some elderly woman to abuse the pregnant heroine 'kalmuhi kahan se moo kala karva ke aayi hai?' (where did you go and get your face blackened- i think I should stop translating - just doesn't convey the emotion properly!!)
I really wanted to find out if anybody has ever used these statements in real life so I conducted a telephonic survey of 18 pregnant women and 22 moms and asked them how they had broken the news to their husbands and whether they had used this dialogue: 'main tumhare bachche ki ma banne vaali hoon'....I reached a conclusion that I have some very non-filmy friends as nobody except one had used this statement...
She has allowed me to mention the exact news she gave her hubby (let's call him X for convenience (his) sake)... (imagine a woman with sarcasm and frustration on her face, trying to control two children playing in the room and to have a conversation with her husband at the same time) 'yaar hudd hoti hai X - now this is the third time......ki main tumhare bachche ki ma ban rahi hoon - another pregnancy!!! tumhare bachche paida kar kar ke thak gayi hoon main...and you!!!...either you don't know how to wear it properly or we need to sue this company for manufacturing faulty products!!!'
They had been so sure of their contraceptive technique that for three months, this friend ascribed the missed periods to extensive travel and the moodiness to the missed periods!!They went ahead and had a gorgeous baby girl is another story to tell!! AND....and...she didn't even puke so how could they guess (see how important 'vomiting' can be sometimes)!!
Continuing the conversation about pregnancy, contraceptives and Hindi films,, I have to mention the recent film 'Rajneeti' otherwise this academic research will remain incomplete!! Nobody in that movie believes in using contraceptives....and all the women exhibit incredible fertility...each one gets pregnant after one go with her man!! First Bharti (whose man Naseerudin Shah runs away)..then Sara (in one go with Ranbir Kapoor)...then Indu (Arjun Rampal gets killed after this)!!! In this new age movie, these women are not shown throwing up left right and centre...instead subtle expressions and dialogues are used to convey their pregnancy! (How boring!!)
Still continuing the same conversation and knowing that films are a mirror to our society, there is definitely an increased awareness about contraceptives...our films now show a more aware society...no more do you find women puking in a film to convey they are preggie...In today's movies, young people have sex all the time (it seems so) but do not end up pregnant like Sharmila Tagore in 'Aradhana'!! Take 'Murder 2' for instance- what would happen if Jaqueline were to become pregnant after one
meeting with Hashmi????
..and isn't it sort of hard to picture Jacqueline puking??
P.S: So, I have told my friend to take the filmy path....shut herself in the toilet and produce loud sounds of 'awwwwww'...'awwwwwww' (make sure she's in hubby's hearing range)...come out and call her hubby...look into his eyes lovingly...get into a comfortable embrace and tell him 'main tumhare bachche ki ma banne vaali hoon (ab toe maan lo...I puked also)!!!'
'and...', she said 'my husband refuses to believe that I'm pregnant!!!!'...He told her, 'O come on...don't try and fool me...you're not pregnant....you're not even puking!!!' Even when she showed him the two lines on the four pregnancy tests that she had done to confirm it herself, he looked quite skeptical about the whole thing because she hadn't vomited!!
This is what happens when one has been fed on a healthy dose of Hindi cinema since childhood!! (actually only about 55% of pregnant women show this symptom of early pregnancy - good, I was not among them)
Don't you all remember the film 'Aradhana'? I think it marked my entry into adulthood - I got to know that one could get pregnant by spending (quality) time with a guy alone! It was quite a breath of fresh air after seeing scenes of two flowers touching and two birds touching their beaks on screen and suddenly in the next scene a woman got pregnant and started puking (very confusing for teenagers)!!
Remember...the 'roop tera mastana' song around a bonfire...the hero and heroine alone in the wilderness, needing each other's warmth in the extreme cold weather......and the next scene shows Sharmila Tagore going 'AWWWWWWGWWAAAWWWW' - puking and indicating to the audience that she is pregnant....and the audience emiting a collective HAW!!
Hindi films showing pre-marital pregnancy use this most visually obvious symptom of pregnancy-puking/ vomiting/ throwing up or 'morning sickness' (nothing scientific about the nomenclature as morning sickness can happen at any time of the day!).It is used in films because of its audio-visual appeal! Women don't develop baby bumps overnight otherwise it would have been easy for film makers. Other signs of pregnancy are not very obvious (except to the pregnant woman), so they don't work on screen..
only 'Awwwwwwwuuu... aaawwwwww.... auuwwwwwww' works!!!!
The only other thing that works is to say it clearly...'Main tumhare bachche ki ma banne vaali hoon (I am going to become the mother of your child - sounds quite weird in English) or get some elderly woman to abuse the pregnant heroine 'kalmuhi kahan se moo kala karva ke aayi hai?' (where did you go and get your face blackened- i think I should stop translating - just doesn't convey the emotion properly!!)
I really wanted to find out if anybody has ever used these statements in real life so I conducted a telephonic survey of 18 pregnant women and 22 moms and asked them how they had broken the news to their husbands and whether they had used this dialogue: 'main tumhare bachche ki ma banne vaali hoon'....I reached a conclusion that I have some very non-filmy friends as nobody except one had used this statement...
She has allowed me to mention the exact news she gave her hubby (let's call him X for convenience (his) sake)... (imagine a woman with sarcasm and frustration on her face, trying to control two children playing in the room and to have a conversation with her husband at the same time) 'yaar hudd hoti hai X - now this is the third time......ki main tumhare bachche ki ma ban rahi hoon - another pregnancy!!! tumhare bachche paida kar kar ke thak gayi hoon main...and you!!!...either you don't know how to wear it properly or we need to sue this company for manufacturing faulty products!!!'
They had been so sure of their contraceptive technique that for three months, this friend ascribed the missed periods to extensive travel and the moodiness to the missed periods!!They went ahead and had a gorgeous baby girl is another story to tell!! AND....and...she didn't even puke so how could they guess (see how important 'vomiting' can be sometimes)!!
Talking of Hindi films and contraceptives, I can't help but remember Amitabh Bachchan stammer in front of the chemist while buying a pack of condoms in 'Cheeni Kum'. A hilarious scene!!(I also wondered what film stars do when they need them in real life? this must be one item on their priority list when they go to a country like Azerbaijan for a shoot-where nobody knows them- so they casually stroll into a shop and buy a year's supply at least!!)
Continuing the conversation about pregnancy, contraceptives and Hindi films,, I have to mention the recent film 'Rajneeti' otherwise this academic research will remain incomplete!! Nobody in that movie believes in using contraceptives....and all the women exhibit incredible fertility...each one gets pregnant after one go with her man!! First Bharti (whose man Naseerudin Shah runs away)..then Sara (in one go with Ranbir Kapoor)...then Indu (Arjun Rampal gets killed after this)!!! In this new age movie, these women are not shown throwing up left right and centre...instead subtle expressions and dialogues are used to convey their pregnancy! (How boring!!)
meeting with Hashmi????
..and isn't it sort of hard to picture Jacqueline puking??
P.S: So, I have told my friend to take the filmy path....shut herself in the toilet and produce loud sounds of 'awwwwww'...'awwwwwww' (make sure she's in hubby's hearing range)...come out and call her hubby...look into his eyes lovingly...get into a comfortable embrace and tell him 'main tumhare bachche ki ma banne vaali hoon (ab toe maan lo...I puked also)!!!'
Really well written. Do you remember all these filmy stuff or just research ! Anyway I read through the page in one breath,very interesting...
ReplyDeleteIt is the choice of topic that matters...originality etc...and then your writing
style... fantastic. Keep it up. lady
thanks....I am sooo happy to read ur comment...There was no research...its all from memory...(that's just a joke...to make the blog sound more important)!!
ReplyDeleteGetting a filmy response to the said situation was very likely from a sample that was not married or was close enough to share past. Now the sheer panic in that scenario would trigger not just filmy responses but also interesting stories.
ReplyDeleteLet me recite the story of an ex GF's close friend (shall we call her S too?) who after spending a lovely week with "one" of her boyfriends in the valleys of Nanital (no Pun intended) realized that she was pregnant. Wow.. how could that happen??!!... Duh!!
The loyal friend that my ex was, wanted to help 'S'. Obviously in this situation there was little choice and the question posed to me was if I knew of some clinic that would do this.
(Wonder if that was because my father is a doc or my ex just misunderstood me.. "Main bada shareef aadmi hoon" (I am a man of honorable intentions!!))
Incidentally, I knew exactly the place that would do this (not because I ever needed the services myself but because this nursing home had a big board that said so.. and I happened to pass by that route 5 time a day). The filmy situations were in the nursing home (as recited to me by my ex) drama to convince the doc to do this, sneer remarks by fellow patients and their families (the kalmoohi bit) et al.
Kudos to my ex for standing by her friend and apologies for the dark humor.
But seriously, other than male contraceptives, did this lady never hear of "Overal L" (akin to IPill, more recently)?? I always kept a stock of Overal L with me .. for peace of mind!
BTW, the "one go" theory deserves some credit to the man as well... both on account of physical and mental abilities. Physical being apparent and mental being as simple as getting an ovulation profile done ;)
(Loha garam hai.. maar do hathoda!!!) would not even bother translating.. it'll totally lose the feel!
As I can tell from personal experience, the "one go" theory works... and with beautiful results!
I loved your and Manu's birth story piece. I always thought you are like Laxmibai till nani confirmed. The way you walked into RT's room!
ReplyDeleteAnd in this story, the filmy reference make the stories very close to reality.Its true, child birth is a nonevent in Indian lives, especially where i am roaming now. On an average each lady has 6 kids, how can this be eventful??
Its our conext where its so dramatic! But, your imagination is running wild, ghar baithe baithe. Well researching is keeping your head busy and readers happy! Keep going!