A friend forwarded this and I had to share it here!!!  |
| good that she wasn't watching Species... otherwise we wouldn't be here to read this |
Friday, 15 July 2011
if you are pregnant, anything can happen!!
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
The tussle between suggestions and following them- Part 3
I am hardly halfway through my pregnancy and I have started getting suggestions about the delivery: two opposing suggestions:
Suggestion: You could go for a painless delivery (with an epidural - an injection that numbs the lower part of the body and helps in a painless delivery - i think a wonderful invention of science))
Opposing Suggestion: You should let the delivery take its normal course and experience labour pains..we were never created for painless deliveries!!
Real Life
I am confused....and also think that the delivery is still a long time away....
So, I asked some of my experienced friends (who are already moms; have given birth; are doctors etc) for some practical advice. It was a silly move on my part - I stand even more confused now!! But I'll share the stories/suggestions here for mitigating my confusion. Let's name these friends A, B, C, D and E and here are their experiences:
'A' (a friend from college) had 28 hours of excruciating labour pain and her screams could be heard outside the hospital!...She refused to go for an epidural as she wanted to have the most natural delivery possible (why???) ...and this very same friend was scared of not only cockroaches but the most harmless creatures in God's world i.e.earthworms!! (sometimes you think you know your friends and then you realize how wrong you were) She told me that she read somewhere (another suggestion) that she wouldn't feel like a real mother if she doesn't go through the labour pain..(I wanted to tell her that it was a bunch of crap but seeing the glow of pride on her face, I stopped myself just in time) Still her story added to my confusion nevertheless as I did not want to feel like an 'unreal' mother!!
'B' described her delivery with such gory details that I was forced to wonder why she was such a dud in writing essays in school. But she was very truthful in admitting that after a couple of hours of pain, when the doc suggested an epidural, she readily agreed...not finding it useful to kill herself before her baby was born (what common sense!). But she told me that taking an epidural makes the mother so numb waist-down that she is not able to push properly and hence the baby has to be assisted at birth using forceps or vaccum pump. Her baby was born with the help of a vaccum pump (and she proudly compares it to Kareena Kapoor's elder sister's delivery in the movie Three Idiots...to give me a better picture). So that still left the lingering question of whether or not to get an epidural as these forceps or vaccum things could create a problem!
'C' was most experienced - two children - first normal delivery, second C-Section. Her first baby was born in the US where she told me that giving an epidural is part of the procedure unless you have an allergy to it. She said 'everybody over there has painless deliveries' (thus erasing all sense of guilt from my mind for having called the epidural a great invention)...The next baby was born in India and was a C-Section and for that, an epidural or other kind of anesthesia is mandatory to be administered. But before I could heave a sigh of relief, she went ahead and told me what went wrong! Well somehow, they had jabbed the epidural at a wrong location or something so its effect was milder than normal and she could feel the doc cutting open her abdomen!!!! (feel it - now what kind of a feeling is that!!!!) but she informed me that there was no major pain, just some sensation of being ripped apart!!! Yes...Right....Thank you very much!!
'D' turned out to be a big supporter of epidurals, anesthetics, pain killers in general and asked me why were they made if not to be used at the right time (probably she is right). She has two children - the elder one, her daughter, was born with an epidural and she said that she felt quite good about the delivery as her daughter had taken 14 hours to pop out after the labour pains started...so imagine that without an epidural! But she went ahead and explained to me that getting an epidural does not mean 'no labour pain' - it just means no pain during delivery - what an eye-opener (and I was comparing a painless delivery to a walk in the garden). Then, I inquired about her son's birth...She gave me a dazzling smile and said...'Oh! I got an epidural at his time also but he was born in 12 minutes and the epidural takes at least half an hour to take effect'!!!! Beautiful!
'E' is a very good friend and a no- nonsense doctor...When I inquired about epidurals very nonchalantly as if it were for an acquaintance, she immediately saw through me. She told me to shut my trap (literally) and stop reading shit on the internet (she is herself a grade 1 luddite (a person who fears or loathes technology)). She scolded me like a grandmother and said that 'Every pregnancy is different and you never know what will happen when you are about to deliver' (as if after hearing 1000 stories- all of them different, I didn't know that much). Basically, she conveyed to me that when the push comes to shove (pun unintended), then we'll see!!!
Of course she couldn't stop herself from narrating a story about a breech baby (everybody has this urge of topping all the stories that I have already heard).......
Unwittingly, she has made me navigate from epidurals to breech babies on the world wide web to enhance my knowledge!!!! (my resolve is even stronger after I saw that my latest scan said - 'baby is extended breech!!')
Note: Pleeeeease do not google any images of epidural needles or injections or procedure of administration if you ever want to get one!!!
Suggestion: You could go for a painless delivery (with an epidural - an injection that numbs the lower part of the body and helps in a painless delivery - i think a wonderful invention of science))
Opposing Suggestion: You should let the delivery take its normal course and experience labour pains..we were never created for painless deliveries!!
Real Life
I am confused....and also think that the delivery is still a long time away....
So, I asked some of my experienced friends (who are already moms; have given birth; are doctors etc) for some practical advice. It was a silly move on my part - I stand even more confused now!! But I'll share the stories/suggestions here for mitigating my confusion. Let's name these friends A, B, C, D and E and here are their experiences:
'A' (a friend from college) had 28 hours of excruciating labour pain and her screams could be heard outside the hospital!...She refused to go for an epidural as she wanted to have the most natural delivery possible (why???) ...and this very same friend was scared of not only cockroaches but the most harmless creatures in God's world i.e.earthworms!! (sometimes you think you know your friends and then you realize how wrong you were) She told me that she read somewhere (another suggestion) that she wouldn't feel like a real mother if she doesn't go through the labour pain..(I wanted to tell her that it was a bunch of crap but seeing the glow of pride on her face, I stopped myself just in time) Still her story added to my confusion nevertheless as I did not want to feel like an 'unreal' mother!!
'B' described her delivery with such gory details that I was forced to wonder why she was such a dud in writing essays in school. But she was very truthful in admitting that after a couple of hours of pain, when the doc suggested an epidural, she readily agreed...not finding it useful to kill herself before her baby was born (what common sense!). But she told me that taking an epidural makes the mother so numb waist-down that she is not able to push properly and hence the baby has to be assisted at birth using forceps or vaccum pump. Her baby was born with the help of a vaccum pump (and she proudly compares it to Kareena Kapoor's elder sister's delivery in the movie Three Idiots...to give me a better picture). So that still left the lingering question of whether or not to get an epidural as these forceps or vaccum things could create a problem!
'C' was most experienced - two children - first normal delivery, second C-Section. Her first baby was born in the US where she told me that giving an epidural is part of the procedure unless you have an allergy to it. She said 'everybody over there has painless deliveries' (thus erasing all sense of guilt from my mind for having called the epidural a great invention)...The next baby was born in India and was a C-Section and for that, an epidural or other kind of anesthesia is mandatory to be administered. But before I could heave a sigh of relief, she went ahead and told me what went wrong! Well somehow, they had jabbed the epidural at a wrong location or something so its effect was milder than normal and she could feel the doc cutting open her abdomen!!!! (feel it - now what kind of a feeling is that!!!!) but she informed me that there was no major pain, just some sensation of being ripped apart!!! Yes...Right....Thank you very much!!
'D' turned out to be a big supporter of epidurals, anesthetics, pain killers in general and asked me why were they made if not to be used at the right time (probably she is right). She has two children - the elder one, her daughter, was born with an epidural and she said that she felt quite good about the delivery as her daughter had taken 14 hours to pop out after the labour pains started...so imagine that without an epidural! But she went ahead and explained to me that getting an epidural does not mean 'no labour pain' - it just means no pain during delivery - what an eye-opener (and I was comparing a painless delivery to a walk in the garden). Then, I inquired about her son's birth...She gave me a dazzling smile and said...'Oh! I got an epidural at his time also but he was born in 12 minutes and the epidural takes at least half an hour to take effect'!!!! Beautiful!
'E' is a very good friend and a no- nonsense doctor...When I inquired about epidurals very nonchalantly as if it were for an acquaintance, she immediately saw through me. She told me to shut my trap (literally) and stop reading shit on the internet (she is herself a grade 1 luddite (a person who fears or loathes technology)). She scolded me like a grandmother and said that 'Every pregnancy is different and you never know what will happen when you are about to deliver' (as if after hearing 1000 stories- all of them different, I didn't know that much). Basically, she conveyed to me that when the push comes to shove (pun unintended), then we'll see!!!
Of course she couldn't stop herself from narrating a story about a breech baby (everybody has this urge of topping all the stories that I have already heard).......
Unwittingly, she has made me navigate from epidurals to breech babies on the world wide web to enhance my knowledge!!!! (my resolve is even stronger after I saw that my latest scan said - 'baby is extended breech!!')
Note: Pleeeeease do not google any images of epidural needles or injections or procedure of administration if you ever want to get one!!!
Monday, 11 July 2011
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
The tussle between suggestions and following them- Part 2
Suggestion 2 (this one I have heard from at least 15 people who vouch for its success)
If you are desperately trying to conceive, put your feet up after intercourse, using the wall next to your bed to support them
Real Life
What if the bed is right in the middle of the room touching none of its walls!
Jokes aside - A friend of mine and his wife were trying to conceive a second child 7 years after having their first baby. They had some really practical problems in following this very good suggestion. They had to come back from office early during his wife's fertile time of the month to match with their daughter's evening playtime because at night the daughter liked to sleep surrounded by parental love right in between them!! That one hour in the evening was their only time alone - to do it!!
So, one of these days, my friend's daughter came in the house after playing with her friends and sauntered into their bedroom - and asked her father 'what is Ma doing?'....Her father looked at his wife who had her feet up in the air allowing the force of gravity to aid his seed/s to reach their correct destination!!! He thought for a moment and told his daughter that her mother had become very health conscious and she was exercising!!
The next evening....there was a line of girls exercising with their feet propped up the wall of the play area downstairs and my friend's daughter proudly telling every passer by that this is the exercise that her mom did every evening, in fact would be doing it right this moment while she was playing outside!!! I was one of the passers-by.
The tussle between suggestions and following them- Part 1
This post is first among others that will follow hence, Part 1. These posts will attempt to show some realistic differences between what is suggested by people/ websites etc and what actually takes place in real life. All these are real experiences of real people and not fiction. I am just an informed narrator!!!
Every suggestion is followed by the real life situation:
Suggestion 1 (similar references are used by about 80% of websites on pregnancy)
'If you are about 18 weeks pregnant, your baby is now about the size of a grapefruit'
Real life
My friend who was reading this on the net was exactly in her 18th week at that time. She immediately called me up all flustered and bothered as she was concerned how her baby that was supposed to be the size of a 'tomato' in the 16th week could go back to the size of a grape in the 18th!!!
As you can observe in the pictures that grapes and grapefruit are as different as ants and elephants (though both have ants/ grape in them)!! That reference to a foreign fruit on that website made my friend assume that her baby had suddenly reduced in size to a mere grape (a fruit commonly available in India and one she is very familiar with)!!
Even more confusing are references to potatoes...If some website says 'now your baby is about the size of a medium sized potato' and like me you go and check out the potatoes in your kitchen basket - you'll be spending quite some time pondering over which one could be labelled 'medium sized'...I literally lined up all the potatoes on the table in increasing order of size to ascertain 'medium sized'...but soon came back to my senses.... as some other kitchen basket may have another assortment of sizes...my own kitchen basket on another day would have different sized potatoes.....what about all the potatoes in the supermarket then- or all the potatoes of the world?? So, very unlike me, I quit the quest for the medium sized potato midway.
Thus, it is my sincere request that this 'tomato'; 'potato', 'mango' kind of references to help pregnant women visualize their babies' sizes must be replaced by something more logical...
And, having genetically modified extra large fruits and vegetables in the market doesn't help at all!!!!!!!
Every suggestion is followed by the real life situation:
Suggestion 1 (similar references are used by about 80% of websites on pregnancy)
'If you are about 18 weeks pregnant, your baby is now about the size of a grapefruit'
Real life
My friend who was reading this on the net was exactly in her 18th week at that time. She immediately called me up all flustered and bothered as she was concerned how her baby that was supposed to be the size of a 'tomato' in the 16th week could go back to the size of a grape in the 18th!!!
 |
grapefruit |
 |
| grapes |
As you can observe in the pictures that grapes and grapefruit are as different as ants and elephants (though both have ants/ grape in them)!! That reference to a foreign fruit on that website made my friend assume that her baby had suddenly reduced in size to a mere grape (a fruit commonly available in India and one she is very familiar with)!!
Even more confusing are references to potatoes...If some website says 'now your baby is about the size of a medium sized potato' and like me you go and check out the potatoes in your kitchen basket - you'll be spending quite some time pondering over which one could be labelled 'medium sized'...I literally lined up all the potatoes on the table in increasing order of size to ascertain 'medium sized'...but soon came back to my senses.... as some other kitchen basket may have another assortment of sizes...my own kitchen basket on another day would have different sized potatoes.....what about all the potatoes in the supermarket then- or all the potatoes of the world?? So, very unlike me, I quit the quest for the medium sized potato midway.
Thus, it is my sincere request that this 'tomato'; 'potato', 'mango' kind of references to help pregnant women visualize their babies' sizes must be replaced by something more logical...
And, having genetically modified extra large fruits and vegetables in the market doesn't help at all!!!!!!!
Monday, 4 July 2011
when my niece was born
My younger sister had one of those breeze-through pregnancies that make 40 weeks look like a blink. Her younger age and patient attitude helped lubricate this 'breeze through' effect...
Generally she is not such a 'wonderful' type...on the contrary, she has quite a cute devilish quality about her... and I presume that this 'patient and good girl' phase was just one of those effects of being pregnant. They say that the attitude/behaviour of the child depends a lot on what the general mood of the mother was during pregnancy ....this was proved in my sister's case - my niece is the closest thing to an angel... and her Ma and Pa the farthest...
but we'll come to that in a later post... let us first resume the original objective of this post....
When my niece was born, it seemed as if she was just waiting for me to welcome her into this world...Her Ma had been huffing and puffing and pushing for over 3-4 hours but within two minutes of my huffing and puffing into the nursing home my niece popped out and gave a joyful shriek 'UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'..
The night before my niece was born, I got a call from my sister saying that the pains had just started and that the baby could be born any time... I immediately jumped on the next train and spent the whole night dreaming in repeat sequence ..of babies being born. In one night, I produced more than 100 babies in my dreams...and as I looked at each of these babies, I wished it wasn't my niece because I wanted to be there to hold her as soon as she arrived....the good part was that beyond the dream world, I could still feel the reassuring vibrations of the train under my body...that confirmed the imaginary aspect of the 100 babies.
So, you can imagine how important it must have been for me to be there on time...I was literally running inside the car that took me directly from the railway station to the nursing home...as if that would help speed up things..I am sure that car driver still tells my story to his buddies and they have a laugh or two at my expense. But that morning...I would have taken out my hands from the windows and flapped them like wings for more velocity, if the situation had so demanded.. (thanks to cell phones I was being constantly informed that the baby was yet to be born)
Finally I reached the destination...and there I was panting for air....leaning against my sister's husband for support...waiting for the good news...We waited in pregnant silence for about two minutes that the 'UWAAAAAAAAAA' sound emerged from the insides of the labour room...and to accompany the sound in perfect unison, tears started flowing from our eyes...We hugged each other and said this and that...all of which I now forget....For the first time I understood what is really meant by the word 'overwhelmed'!!!
Then we again said some more of this and that to each other...nodded happily at the grandparents sitting in the waiting area...and kept standing in front of the labour room entrance for some news about the mother and baby... kept waiting.....kept waiting...nobody appeared....
Within two minutes of waiting that seemed like a century...our conversation evolved from a babble to incoherent babble...we started contemplating whether our tears had accompanied the right 'UWAAAAA' sound or some other baby had been born inside...Then we asked a nurse-passing-by who had no idea how many moms-to-be were inside the labour room...so we also discussed within those two minutes about lack of efficient nurses in our country...Then we deliberated upon the sex of the child based on the pitch and tenor of the 'UWAAAAAA' sound....but immediately came back to the fact that we had no idea or proof whether the 'UWAAAA' under discussion was the actual 'UWAAAA' we had been waiting for...
Then somebody said that there was only one mom-to-be in the labour room that morning so we gladly accepted that the 'UWAAAAA' we had been discussing had emanated from the right baby.
Finally, the conversation tended to take a mature turn and my brother-in-law sighed and said that he felt he had become a father (I smiled understandingly)....................to a door (my eyes bulged from their sockets) 'What!!!', I expressed some genuine concern.....He said (poor thing tired of waiting for over four minutes now (more like two centuries)). 'I think I have become a father to a door as the audio is of a baby crying and the video is of this door in front of me'...his being a filmmaker did not contribute much to improve the situation...I fully sympathized with his condition but I did not want to feel like being a mausi to a labour room door even for a second!!!!
But, this is how millions of fathers in India must be feeling when they have to wait outside for the news of their wives and babies while they are trying to decipher expressions on the faces of the nurses and recognize every baby cry that is heard !!! After being witness to my brother-in-law's pathetic condition for five seconds, I told him that we must start a crusade and hospitals/ nursing homes etc must allow husbands inside the labour rooms and this and that...and we had discussed this for about ten seconds that my mother (the gynaecologist in this story) brought out my niece wrapped in a white towel....all red and splotchy and wrinkled and the most beautiful little girl I would ever lay eyes on...
So that was that and we forgot all about the crusade for the rights of fathers-to-be and we also forgot about that green door... but it forms such an important part of so mannnnnnnnnnnny stories like ours....Through it, so many people must have seen their little angels emerge for the first time...wrapped in white towels... so many people must have peeked through it and waved or blown a kiss at the exhausted mother inside!!!
Generally she is not such a 'wonderful' type...on the contrary, she has quite a cute devilish quality about her... and I presume that this 'patient and good girl' phase was just one of those effects of being pregnant. They say that the attitude/behaviour of the child depends a lot on what the general mood of the mother was during pregnancy ....this was proved in my sister's case - my niece is the closest thing to an angel... and her Ma and Pa the farthest...
but we'll come to that in a later post... let us first resume the original objective of this post....
When my niece was born, it seemed as if she was just waiting for me to welcome her into this world...Her Ma had been huffing and puffing and pushing for over 3-4 hours but within two minutes of my huffing and puffing into the nursing home my niece popped out and gave a joyful shriek 'UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'..
The night before my niece was born, I got a call from my sister saying that the pains had just started and that the baby could be born any time... I immediately jumped on the next train and spent the whole night dreaming in repeat sequence ..of babies being born. In one night, I produced more than 100 babies in my dreams...and as I looked at each of these babies, I wished it wasn't my niece because I wanted to be there to hold her as soon as she arrived....the good part was that beyond the dream world, I could still feel the reassuring vibrations of the train under my body...that confirmed the imaginary aspect of the 100 babies.
So, you can imagine how important it must have been for me to be there on time...I was literally running inside the car that took me directly from the railway station to the nursing home...as if that would help speed up things..I am sure that car driver still tells my story to his buddies and they have a laugh or two at my expense. But that morning...I would have taken out my hands from the windows and flapped them like wings for more velocity, if the situation had so demanded.. (thanks to cell phones I was being constantly informed that the baby was yet to be born)
Finally I reached the destination...and there I was panting for air....leaning against my sister's husband for support...waiting for the good news...We waited in pregnant silence for about two minutes that the 'UWAAAAAAAAAA' sound emerged from the insides of the labour room...and to accompany the sound in perfect unison, tears started flowing from our eyes...We hugged each other and said this and that...all of which I now forget....For the first time I understood what is really meant by the word 'overwhelmed'!!!
Then we again said some more of this and that to each other...nodded happily at the grandparents sitting in the waiting area...and kept standing in front of the labour room entrance for some news about the mother and baby... kept waiting.....kept waiting...nobody appeared....
Within two minutes of waiting that seemed like a century...our conversation evolved from a babble to incoherent babble...we started contemplating whether our tears had accompanied the right 'UWAAAAA' sound or some other baby had been born inside...Then we asked a nurse-passing-by who had no idea how many moms-to-be were inside the labour room...so we also discussed within those two minutes about lack of efficient nurses in our country...Then we deliberated upon the sex of the child based on the pitch and tenor of the 'UWAAAAAA' sound....but immediately came back to the fact that we had no idea or proof whether the 'UWAAAA' under discussion was the actual 'UWAAAA' we had been waiting for...
Then somebody said that there was only one mom-to-be in the labour room that morning so we gladly accepted that the 'UWAAAAA' we had been discussing had emanated from the right baby.
Finally, the conversation tended to take a mature turn and my brother-in-law sighed and said that he felt he had become a father (I smiled understandingly)....................to a door (my eyes bulged from their sockets) 'What!!!', I expressed some genuine concern.....He said (poor thing tired of waiting for over four minutes now (more like two centuries)). 'I think I have become a father to a door as the audio is of a baby crying and the video is of this door in front of me'...his being a filmmaker did not contribute much to improve the situation...I fully sympathized with his condition but I did not want to feel like being a mausi to a labour room door even for a second!!!!
But, this is how millions of fathers in India must be feeling when they have to wait outside for the news of their wives and babies while they are trying to decipher expressions on the faces of the nurses and recognize every baby cry that is heard !!! After being witness to my brother-in-law's pathetic condition for five seconds, I told him that we must start a crusade and hospitals/ nursing homes etc must allow husbands inside the labour rooms and this and that...and we had discussed this for about ten seconds that my mother (the gynaecologist in this story) brought out my niece wrapped in a white towel....all red and splotchy and wrinkled and the most beautiful little girl I would ever lay eyes on...
So that was that and we forgot all about the crusade for the rights of fathers-to-be and we also forgot about that green door... but it forms such an important part of so mannnnnnnnnnnny stories like ours....Through it, so many people must have seen their little angels emerge for the first time...wrapped in white towels... so many people must have peeked through it and waved or blown a kiss at the exhausted mother inside!!!
Thursday, 23 June 2011
Let her be!!!
'No No No....I am not going to talk about Aishwarya Rai B. being pregnant even if you pay me for it' (that is what I thought when I first heard the news but I am an extremely accommodating person who can easily slide to a new position that is more convenient and comfortable). When I saw people going all crazy and bonkers over the news, I decided that I had to speak up in support of a pregnant sistah!!
I imagined myself as a pregnant celebrity (say Ash) at a time when I still haven't told anyone about it... then I go out in a dress with folds and make the biggest mistake of my life because everyone notices that I have gained a few grams that the folds are not able to enfold!! Soon, the whole world starts talking about it (as if we have been attacked by aliens) because otherwise I have such a perfect ten figure!! The millions of guesses create a deafening din of a chant of ' she's preggie, she's preggie' which continues to haunt me till my preggie status is made official by an authoritative family member who tweets very often. Scary???
This is nothing... After the official declaration, people will go from crazy to berserk to downright deranged and my baby's due date/ sex/ health/ future etc will be conjectured on by experts and quacks of all fields...(just like all those extremely intellectual discussions on destinies of political personalities or the 'end of the world' predictions that make rounds in every third grade TV channel)
So that decides it...I am better off being 'a pregnant me' than 'a pregnant Ash'...for the following pertinent reasons:
However, having said all this, if I were in her place, there would be one positive point - I would at least feel the pressure of quickly losing weight post delivery...(this won't happen as I am no Aishwarya Rai- just a lazy bum)
All my sympathies with Ash regarding this press fiasco...and huge congratulations to the two families!! I hope she does get a lot of time to throw tantrums and feel like a normal pregnant woman!!!
A message to the super- excited press and public - even all your collective excitement can't match the exhilaration that the to-be-parents are feeling!!! but it is only as good to know that everybody is happy with your news, as it is hurtful to hear people joking about it for no reason at all!!
So let her be people!!!
An article in ToI about this- namesake of my blog:
Pregnant Pause
(having said all that, I want to clarify that I have no particular fondness for the parents-to-be though I am a huge (really huge) admirer of the paternal grandfather-to-be...but this is an important matter of speaking for other contemporary expectant parents even if they are celebrities!!)
I imagined myself as a pregnant celebrity (say Ash) at a time when I still haven't told anyone about it... then I go out in a dress with folds and make the biggest mistake of my life because everyone notices that I have gained a few grams that the folds are not able to enfold!! Soon, the whole world starts talking about it (as if we have been attacked by aliens) because otherwise I have such a perfect ten figure!! The millions of guesses create a deafening din of a chant of ' she's preggie, she's preggie' which continues to haunt me till my preggie status is made official by an authoritative family member who tweets very often. Scary???
This is nothing... After the official declaration, people will go from crazy to berserk to downright deranged and my baby's due date/ sex/ health/ future etc will be conjectured on by experts and quacks of all fields...(just like all those extremely intellectual discussions on destinies of political personalities or the 'end of the world' predictions that make rounds in every third grade TV channel)
So that decides it...I am better off being 'a pregnant me' than 'a pregnant Ash'...for the following pertinent reasons:
- At least nobody noticed till the third month that I had put on a few grams...one of the benefits of being pleasantly plump!!
- My right to be grumpy and moody has not been partially forsaken like Ash's on account of her celebrity status - so she'll have to appear all stylish and glowing esp. as the whole country is following her preggieness so closely - poor thing!!!
- Trust me I'm glad I am not a celebrity - there are long periods of time in one's pregnancy when one wants to mope, snap, get irritated at nothing, growl, grunt, wear comfortable cotton rags, laze....I'm sure Aishwarya will also long for these but her hands and emotions shall be tied down by the public gaze!! (shudder shudder!)
- I am still on the right side of the thirties and yet face the risks of a complicated pregnancy - I hope Ash who is almost 38 has a hassle free one notwithstanding the public pressure..
- On having farted or burped with supernatural sound effects (as it happens frequently during pregnancy) in a meeting, I can happily look around slightly embarrassed and get understanding glances and 'doesn't matters' from everybody around. Now imagine Ash farting or burping in a press conference!! Not a lovely picture - but these are some audible bodily functions that pregnant women can't help sometimes!!
However, having said all this, if I were in her place, there would be one positive point - I would at least feel the pressure of quickly losing weight post delivery...(this won't happen as I am no Aishwarya Rai- just a lazy bum)
All my sympathies with Ash regarding this press fiasco...and huge congratulations to the two families!! I hope she does get a lot of time to throw tantrums and feel like a normal pregnant woman!!!
A message to the super- excited press and public - even all your collective excitement can't match the exhilaration that the to-be-parents are feeling!!! but it is only as good to know that everybody is happy with your news, as it is hurtful to hear people joking about it for no reason at all!!
So let her be people!!!
An article in ToI about this- namesake of my blog:
Pregnant Pause
(having said all that, I want to clarify that I have no particular fondness for the parents-to-be though I am a huge (really huge) admirer of the paternal grandfather-to-be...but this is an important matter of speaking for other contemporary expectant parents even if they are celebrities!!)
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