Our daughter arrives in this world with a song on her lips

Finally after the loooooooooooooooong pregnant pause...the play button of my life was pressed by my daughter's little fingers....She was born to me (us) in the wee hours of the first day of the eleventh month of the eleventh year of the 21st century....

This line was written 3 years ago...

My daughter is 3 years old now, so you can calculate why I could not complete this post...

and those of you who have more than one child...please accept my dandwat pranaam...(I am observing 2 minutes of silence in your respect)...All the stories of bravery and courage that we grow up reading...are nothing...

Valour...REAL VALOUR.....is exhibited by parents...in the way they conduct their day to day lives....and VALOUR in extreme conditions is shown by parents who have more than one to handle!!!! seriously - there should be some medal...

OK so here goes my birthing experience - which was 'khoda pahaad nikla chuha' kind of a thing.......Literally because I was like a 'pahaad' and my daughter (a very small baby) - more like a 'chuha'. Metaphorically...because everybody and their aunts had told me that I would have a C-section...but madam (I mean my daughter)...decided to start her life in this world very very 'normally' after having wrecked havoc in the womb...

So here is how it happened...

Water generally breaks; mine started leaking..(and for half a day I thought I was peeing involuntarily).... We went to the doctor and she said in a very matter of fact way - 'your water bag is leaking- get admitted to the labour room', and with this she turned her attention to the next woman in line....She did not notice my open mouth or popped out eyes...or if she did...she chose to ignore...

My husband definitely noticed it because he was looking like my mirror image at that moment...we went out of the consulting room and looked at each other in utter dismay...so this was it...the due date was 8 days away and...my mom's tickets were booked to arrive 2 days before it.....and being the laid-back creature that I am, my bag for the hospital was not fully packed...and to top it all...my sister was away on a shoot and my three year old niece was with me!!!

I gripped my husband's hand and said, 'don't you leave me here...let a friend come here and take the keys...and get the bag....and book ma's tickets on the next flight..By this time we had ceased looking like gargoyles and were thinking a little straight....We remembered that my sister's hubby had come back from the shoot - dead tired- the previous night...and was snoring away in the house as of that moment. Kumbhkaran was roused and Mish (my niece) was handed over to him...while mother's tickets were booked and a half packed bag was fully packed following telephonic instructions....

Friends materialized from all the corners of the world...and sat twiddling their thumbs waiting to become useful....but there was nothing to do.. except finding more innovative ways of passing time...

The hospital people were still looking for a bed for me in the labour room...but there was none there....so they gave my husband the option of either putting a bed for me in the corridor or to take the glamorous sounding and very expensive 'birthing suite'. Having seen my gargoyle incarnation that very morning, my husband of course, chose the latter.......................The suite was grand - with a TV, fridge, writing table, sofa, extra bed...and what not... The crowds poured in it....Pakoras were brought from Gangaram Hospital's canteen...tea was served to one and all without discrimination of age and sex...and my mother arrived to see me enjoying a pakora dipped in chutney...sitting on the hospital bed in a pink hospital gown. For one moment, she felt everybody  was celebrating the arrival of the baby...but the next moment she looked at my tummy and plonked down beside me to join the waiting crowd.

What were we waiting for? Well, obviously, for a contraction - for the labour pains to start....

Soon, a doctor came to check my basics like pulse, heart rate, baby's heartbeat etc...all seemed fine, but she looked at the crowd very sternly. Not surprisingly, a little while later, a nurse came and said that the patient needed rest so everybody except family needed to leave the room....

No one budged! She repeated this in a sweet voice, but her facial expressions said, 'this isn't a fish market, buzz off'... I also tried telling her that I wasn't a 'Patient' but an 'expecting mother'...but she had no patience for that logic either..

Shuffling of feet, coughs, teary see-yous, balancing of tea and pakora plates to be carried outside, using of the suite loo - all this buzz of activity to make it seem to the nurse that people were leaving...but the plan was to plonk themselves on the sofas as soon as she left. But, she kept standing in her matronly posture of hands on hips...so people finally went out in height order....

Now, our hospital waiting rooms are way too small for the extended urban family -i.e. friends. As our friends sat twiddling their thumbs and skyping with friends in other countries- giving them minute to minute lack of progress, a ward boy came and said that so many people for one patient is not allowed - there are people standing in the corridor. So, most of them went off grumbling to their offices after they were promised hourly updates.

Coming back to the delivery bit...nothing was happening...we sat there waiting for one small movement which we could equate to a contraction...but in vain.

During her evening round, my doctor said that my labour would need to be induced as it wasn't happening on its own. The reason for this was attributed by my friends to my perpetual laziness - 'you and labour- huh! - forget it!'- this coming from my oldest friend - who was walking up and down her front lawn.. talking to me from Bangalore, more tense about the birth than me...Traitor!!!

One labour inducing capsule was inserted inside me and we waited with baited breath...for two hours..but there is limit to how long one can keep one's breath baited...so a collective sigh of relief was heard when one of the doctors came to check on me. She concluded that I would need another one of those labour inducing capsules...and my husband also joined the group of people who had by this time patented the idea that the lazier the woman the more difficult for her to have labour pains naturally..

And I forgot to mention....all this is being done when I had been told by all doctors including my mom to be prepared for a C-section. I was clueless as to why were we inducing labour at all. (Actually, I was stuck with an excellent and conscientious though strict doctor, sincere enough to try for a normal delivery for the benefit (both physical and financial) of the mother rather than going for expensive and quick c-sec for the benefit of the hospital)

The double power of two capsules started giving results...it was around 9 in the night when all that I had read about beginning of labour pains and initial harmless contractions was proved wrong. The first contraction was like a typhoon hitting my lower abdomen. It was followed by me screaming my lungs out with the shock. 'Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa', ooooooooooooooooooooooo maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa', I cried out in a million decibel scream for my mother who was sitting right next to me...

To cut the long story short, this contraction business lasted for 10 hours, and with every passing minute the contractions became more intense and closely placed....

And alongside - my friends disappeared after getting their ear drums pierced by my first few shrieks...vowing to come back only when it would be time to hold the baby....The ringtone of my mom's phone got embedded in my daughter's subconscious - I am sure! My father was calling every two minutes to ask how I was feeling....I kept screaming at my husband to shut up and hit him on his arm repeatedly (as he had placed his face strategically away from my reach)...He kept telling me, 'you know that you have to go through this...only then will the baby be born..' However, I did not need to know scientific facts at that moment

I also threatened to sue the hospital - TWICE!! They refused to give me an epidural to reduce the pain...My doctor had gone home to get some sleep - imagine!!! What about my sleep??? (the nurse laughingly told me afterwards that the junior docs had actually taken my threat seriously - implying that they were too inexperienced to know how hollow and shallow are threats by a woman in labour - she forgets all once the baby is out)

Finally...my doctor came back at 6 in the morning and told me to shut up...and focus on pushing instead of screaming. She said there was still an hour or so (to me 'an hour' sounded like 'an eternity' and I wanted to strangle somebody)..

She started talking to my mother in some foreign language (medical terms...gynae stuff)...I was damn exhausted but I kept pushing with all the strength I could muster. (My mother told me something that really helped - to think that you are constipated and have to take it out - that kind of pushing is required!!!)

you won't believe what my doc did then. She asked me to get up and walk to the delivery room. This was at 7 in the morning (10 hours since the first contraction)...I looked at her with the best 'incredulous' expression I could give - She ignored it...of course!!!........The next 15 minutes are a blur - with contractions close together and two nurses pressing my tummy and the doctor saying that she could see the head....and the shoulder getting stuck...and suddenly the baby (all red and sticky) held up in front of me by the doctor!!!!!

I felt empty and exhausted....but could see the prize of my pain in front of me....I asked the doc 'what is it?' She gave me her first half smile in 6 months...and said - 'I won't tell you - you created such a ruckus!' I had begged and pleaded only for a second when she said - 'it's a beautiful little girl'...and I closed my eyes after that..............................

Suddenly I was awakened by the sound of a child crying...I smiled thinking of the other mother's happiness and relief.......and asked the nurse - how many children had been born that morning...and she said 'only your daughter beta - she has a strong voice just like you (they don't have prizes for best screaming in labour)....isko gaana zaroor sikhana!!!'

Then she tucked me in the bed and told me to rest for a while........then she thought for a second...shook her head....and said 'main tumse jhooth nahi bolungi beta...there is no rest for you now'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AND HOW RIGHT SHE WAS!!!

We are all dancing to Punter's tune and marching to her beats and swaying to her commands and nodding to her demands.............and all is good in our musical world...well- almost (sometimes there are screams/ sniffles/ sobs/ wails)...but then music is of many kinds........

yes - that is my little girl's first finger shake with me

Birthing Quilt

Isn't this a beautiful birthing quilt made by Sarah? You can see her stuff and read her blog about her children and her handicraft at http://littlelumpkin.blogspot.in

Doctors, however, do not let you take a birthing quilt inside the delivery room...you have to bear the cold and hard steel table...........

Your Delivery is here Ma'am!

Do you know that in some hospitals, they have a policy of 'Delivery within half an hour is free' (exactly opposite of what Dominos' Pizza people say 'delivery within half an hour or free').

No, I'm just joking about the 'free' delivery in hospitals - no hospital in its right mind would risk giving an offer like this because then there will be long queues of about-to deliver women screaming away in pain in the corridors,  lawns/cars/ around the hospital waiting for the point when it would take the baby only half an hour or less to pop out. Informal sector would flourish around the hospital -providing stretchers/wheelchairs to promptly transport the very-soon-to-be-mom inside the hospital premises; towels for husbands to wipe off sweat; bandages for husbands who have been hit by wives in labour-pain; pens to fill up forms while waiting; snacks for the family etc etc (I can think of a million things - think of the amount of employment this could generate!!). Soon the formal sector will insert itself and every hospital will have hotels and guest houses flanking it to provide stay for family on an hourly basis and an in-house doctor for emergencies (who would of course not come free)... OK...OK...I'll stop here...

There were 24 pregnant women whose progress I was following (and who were supplying me with real-life juicy and interesting stories)...most of them had their babies before me and two delivered after me...All their birth stories were different and I loved hearing each one of them, but the ones I present here for your consumption, surpassed all benchmarks of being bizarre...but as Shakespeare would say...'all's well that ends well'


Friend 1: 

Stays in a small town in the United Kingdom with her husband. The parents and parents-in-law had planned trips as per the due date but some people are so efficient that they produce the deliverable before time!!! So this one (I mean my friend) experienced contractions one evening and the husband rushed from work- took her to the hospital....all this only to be informed that it was a false alarm (apparently there are 2-3 kinds of false labour - how are pregnant women supposed to know which one is the real thing - they tell you on the Internet that the uterus is practising for the real event - thank God I did not have to undergo these rehearsals!!)...Well to cut the long story short, the false alarm went off again and then again (in one instance, the hubby flew back from some foreign country)...So this friend started ignoring all rumbling/pulling/pushing kind of movements in her abdominal region. One fine day she is lolling around in the bath tub (in whatever space there must be after fitting herself in it) (the due date still 2 weeks away)...hubby sitting in the other room...she calls out to say that she felt some tugs in her abdominal region...the husband laughed and said...phir!!! (again!!)...He then said that he wanted to go out for a drink with a friend and would be back in an hour....She told him to bring back some Thai fried rice for her (I have to write this here because I was told the story in great detail and I don't want to miss out important points such as the Thai fried rice). And I know that you all know that it was not a false alarm this time...

This is what happened..........my friend realizes that the little one is adamant on coming out this time - she gets out of the soapy water on to the slippery bathroom floor..somehow reaches her phone in the other room...calls up hubby - listens to the hubby's phone ringing away merrily somewhere in close vicinity (it was lying on the bed and the husband was phone-less and had not mentioned which friend he was going out with...my friend tells me that even in that excruciating pain she thought whether the husband had gone to see a female friend!!)- calls up 3-4 friends - gurgles something incoherently on the phone - but like friends are - they derive the meaningful out of the gurgle and offer to come over (in other words tell her to stay put) - she wears something from the cupboard- the soapy liquid on the body gets mixed with her sweat-she swears at her husband...who is not there...looks  for the house keys that are not in the right place - again swears at the husband - lies down on the bed - it feels to her as if hours have gone by but actually a friend arrives in ten minutes- doesn't remember this part but picks herself up somehow and opens the door and collapses in the friend's arms - other friends arrive...she's taken to the hospital...note put on door to inform hubby- birth happens within 10 mins of reaching hospital.

Husband reaches hospital with packets of Thai fried rice in both hands (see I told you this was an important point) (he had decided not to have a drink after all but was looking for a restaurant selling good Thai fried rice as their regular one was closed - wanted to fulfill the pregnant wife's craving!!!) - finds his friends passing around his baby boy like their trophy - and his wife asleep with exhaustion!!!!!!


Friend 2: 

Stays in the US of A with her nice fat husband who looks very cute like a little pig (I am not being derogatory - this is an important point and little pigs are very cute and pink and please note the usage of the word 'nice' before 'fat' and use of the word 'little' to balance out 'fat'). I don't know if any of you have ever realised how every human face resembles that of a particular animal (for some faces you just need to look for a micro-second and you can guess the animal, and for others you would have to subject the face to a more closer scrutiny...I know of many sheep-like; lion-like; goat-like faces).
Coming back to the story: She had almost no pre-delivery issues as they had been advised a C-section and the date had already been decided.

So they packed all the required stuff in a bag - went to the hospital on the due date and started waiting for the usual stuff to happen. Their first one, a boy, was also waiting for his sister's arrival...
The husband got tired of twiddling his thumbs, so he went out for a smoke - which nowadays, in the US means travelling at least 2-3 kilometres to find a place which is not 'public', where nobody would get disturbed by the smoke. Now, the son had made the father promise that he would not smoke - 'NEVER EVER again after my little sister is born'. So, while the mom is busy getting her blood pressure checked etc. the Sherlock of a son follows the father (I tell you- these children know everything - especially things they are not supposed to know)...

When the father sees the son, he gulps the smoke inside and tries to hide the cigarette...but to no avail...The son starts howling in the alley - ''you promised!!! you are very cruel!! (and other words he had recently learnt)..It was no use telling the son that technically the promise was being kept as the sister was still on her way..'you are not my father...I am going to call child protection service' (or whatever the name is)...

And you have to see it to believe the expression on the father's face when he recounts his misadventure. No sooner did the son utter those words 'child protection....', out of thin air, two police men materialised in the otherwise deserted alley....

'You will have to come with us sir'........'is this man your father?' Imagine my friend's husband's eyeballs popping out of their socket on hearing his son's answer, 'No, Never!!! he is not my father'
'What was he trying to do to you'...'he was trying to shorten my life!'......'WHAT!!'....'you know he smoked one cigarette and I have lost 5 minutes of my life'

You know the rest...this guy somehow explained and cajoled the protection officers and told them to escort him to the hospital where..his wife was having labour pains...and how he was so nervous that he had to come out for a smoke..(with his cute face he somehow managed to get across; or may be one of the officers was a smoker who understood the situation (see the reference to the pig like cute expression was important))

When they reached...as they were going up the stairs, a nurse looked at the father and said - 'are you Mrs.X's husband?' 'Yes what happened..'.' a baby girl'...she looks just like you.........actually the nose is the same!!! congratulations!!! So he ran upstairs with his son in his arms to meet his new piglet!! (who is by the way the cutest girl I've ever seen - the shape of the nose has definitely and thankfully changed in one year) (the father of course has to recourse to serious cosmetic surgery if he doesn't want the audio 'OINK OINK' playing in my ears every time I look at him.


FRIEND 3

This is a short story and you'll shortly know why...

There can be two types of anaesthesia administered during delivery by C-section...or for any operation for that matter - A general anaesthesia which knocks you out and when you come out of it, you'll be a mommy without your knowing anything about the intermediate process. The second one is a localised anaesthesia which is administered to the lower portion so your mind is still working, you're in your senses but cannot feel much below your chest..

With that part clear, let me proceed with the story. So Friend 3 got a local anaesthesia and they put up a curtain between her eyes and the surgical procedure. She could of course hear everything and when they cut her up (i mean made the incision), she could not feel the pain and yet feel herself being cut open (I can't describe it...but it was gross, the way she described it...)

She told me that she was quite surprised that scientific people like doctors did not realise how useless the curtain was as she could see the whole procedure clearly reflected in the steel portion of the huge bulb hanging above the operating table. She, however, kept quiet ...but the doctors did not.....

Doc 1, 'you know, my husband has found out about this new yoga teacher who can come home and take sessions'
Doc 2, 'kahan aa paaoongi main yoga ke liye', 'nurse zara scissors dena''
Doc 1, 'mere bachchon ko maine bol diya hai ...now I need some time on my own...yeh beech mein fat tissue bohot hai'
Doc 2, ' aapke bachche bade ho gaye hain...meri choti vaali toe abhi class 2 mein hai...aur homework toe aisa dete hain...baap re baap...jaise MBBS ki padhai ho...dhyan se...vo nus aapki scissors ke bohot paas hai...
Nurse, 'doctor, homework ki toe bohot problem hai...private tutors toe doctors se zyada kamate hain, arre nahi doc, vo knife sterilised nahi hai...yeh vaali lijiye'
Doc 1, 'yeh bachcha phansa hua hai iske andar...kainchi do zara...oh! chhodo...yahin padi hui hai...maine kidney par rakh di thi........'

and my friend did not need any anaesthesia after that....when she came around, there was congratulations coming from every direction and she was trying to feel a pair of scissors inside her...and at the same time trying to feed her 10 minute old baby...


FRIEND 4

About this one I have written a lot. She had a C-section in a hospital in Delhi. For one whole day, only boys had been born there and the nurse informed my friend and her husband, in the lift, that there was a 'pundit ji' on the premises who had said that for three days only 'male' births will happen (probably something wrong with the stars). On the first floor another couple (expecting parents) entered the lift. The man was doing all the talking and he informed my friend and her husband that 'pundit ji' had given a muhurat to them for a c-section and that would ensure the birth of a son to them (I wonder how all the DNA/ chromosome thing we learn in school would transform on the muhurat second from a girl into a boy). The man highly recommended the pundit ji and my friend categorically told him that she would go by the doctor's instructions, not some mumbo-jumbo of a pundit. The man asked incredulously 'oh! but don't you want a son?'. My friend said - her anger rising 'not necessarily...and it is none of your business'...My friend's hubby heaved a sigh of relief when the lift stopped and they got out. The man gave a sympathetic nod to him which probably meant 'I know what it is like to have a mad wife!!'

Now, in the room, my enraged friend started discussing what-is-wrong-with-our-society kind of thing with her hubby, whose only interest was to get her through the delivery smoothly. He kept saying 'hmm...hmmm...right...yes' at the correct places when he suddenly felt her hand jabbing his jaw - 'you never listen to me - what are you going... hmm hmm.... call the doctor - the pains have started damn it!!'

He ran to the doctor, who informed him that the pains have to be borne for at least an hour as she wanted to see whether normal delivery was at all possible...I'm sure you all can understand the husband's reaction after this - he thought he should prepare himself before going back to his wife....went downstairs for a caffeine boost. Now the waiting area near the coffee machine was abuzz with talks about this miracle of having only male births for three days...as claimed by the pundit...somebody talked of going to the media...another said...there must be something in all these beliefs...etc. etc. The good thing was that the hubby got an idea that would help him and the wife to pass the labour pain period a little more amicably.

He would just have to put a little more fuel in the fire and then things would take their own course...He went up and informed my friend that people were thinking of calling the media...'What!!! how can we still be a free country with so many dumb heads around!!' aaaaaaaaaaah...'yes I was saying, the best thing would be for that obnoxious man in the lift to become the father of a girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl ..........oooooooooooooooohh this is very painful! And to top this, one has to face these ridiculous people.......mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....some cleaner just came to me to say that she expected a new saree and mithai (or cash in lieu of both) if we have a son!!!!!!!!!can you believe this fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...king shit!!!!

Of course, you can imagine my friend's hubby congratulating himself for this brilliant idea...the labour pains were taking care of themselves and he just had to hold her hand..pass on the water from time to time. But, after 15-20 minutes, he was given marching orders, 'GO NOW and find out which room is that obnoxious man and his wife...I want to know whether they have a son or daughter...arrrrre you are still standing here!!!' There was no way to reason with her and remind her that she too was on the brink of having a baby...The hubby trudged along the corridor and caught hold of a ward-boy...gave him a 100 bucks and outsourced the task..He was given detailed instructions to inform about any birth in the hospital especially people who had talked about 'muhurat' from pundit ji. 'Sahab, humein apna number dijiye...hum SMS kar denge sab news apko!'

Then, all moved smoothly....the doctor decided that a C-section was needed and my friend delivered a beautiful baby...yes BOY!!! The husband got three messages on his phone from the ward boy the next day...and all babies born were BOYS.....yes even the baby of the obnoxious man turned out to be a boy much to the chagrin of my friend. And her husband did not tell her but he had been hugged by the obnoxious man twice - on the birth of their respective sons!!!

When she shifted to a recovery room in the hospital, she was praying hard that at least one girl child should be born in the remaining 48 hours. However, all this was soon forgotten as the whole family became busy with the new arrival and with my friend's recovery....

They came back home with the baby and the family planned a big party for the baby and to celebrate my friend's birthday, which was just round the corner...

There was confusion - too much to handle - baby in the house - wife recuperating from surgery - extended family as guests....and yet, you can trust a wife to say..'I thought you'd get me something really special for my birthday this time...but you didn't...I understand...you've been too tied up managing all of this...'

'But, who said, I didn't get you a gift?', quipped the hubby...and then he held it in front of her eyes already shining and big with anticipation.............and it was.............guess what????


It was an invaluable gift - a message from the ward boy, and I quote...'On January 14 night, girl born to Pundit ji wife!!!'

(only then did I understand why the pundit was on the hospital premises - he was an expectant father!!!'

P.S. By the way, my friend did find out afterwards from the hospital that except this aforementioned birth, all babies born on the three days from Jan 12-14 were male!!

An article from Katie Moore - 'tips for expecting mothers'

I don't know Katie Moore any moore than you but when she wrote to me saying that she found my blog very interesting and enjoyed its content, I was slightly flattered like any normal human being.

It clearly showed that there were some people out there reading my blog posts on their own account.......not after being sent a link....or after being pestered by me!!!!! Well, she asked me if I could include one of her articles as a post on my blog....

Elementary is the conclusion then my dear Watson.........as to what my response to her was: 'I'll be very happy to accommodate your article in my blog Katie'........so here it is - a little different from my style of writing and more directly related to pregnancy but all that is not important....what matters is that she enjoyed reading my blog!!!!

Katie's article:

Tips for Expectant Mothers Preparing for Their New Babies

Expecting a baby is an exciting and overwhelming time for new mothers, so being prepared with some helpful tips to keep in mind along the way makes for a smooth transition into motherhood.

• During pregnancy, the expectant mother's body goes through many changes as she hosts the growing baby. Maintaining good prenatal fitness, healthy eating for two and comfortable sleeping habits are important for a healthy pregnancy and recovery time post-childbirth. 

• There are various birthing options available and a variety of birthing classes to guide mothers-to-be in breathing techniques, breastfeeding and caring for a newborn. There are also advanced procedures to consider, like cord blood banking, that enable mothers the opportunity to collect and preserve their baby's umbilical cord blood stem cells. The benefit of this procedure is that the cord blood may be used in to help treat a number of medical conditions, should one of them afflict the child or possibly a sibling. Expectant mothers should also select a pediatrician, before delivery, to serve as the baby's doctor post-childbirth. This way the mother ensures she is working with someone she is comfortable with.

• Since mother and baby will spend a lot of time in the nursery, creating a space that's comfortable, functional and mom-friendly is essential. Mothers should invest in a glider or rocker for feeding the baby with a corresponding side table and lamp to provide easy access to baby essentials like burping clothes and bottles.

• While babies do not become mobile until they are between six and nine months, baby proofing the house in advance, like outlet covers and baby gates, will ensure a pro-active approach to the child's safety.

• When packing a hospital bag, expectant mothers should stick to basics like pajamas, undergarments, brush, hair tie, tooth brush and tooth paste. Mothers may also want to bring magazines, a book, or an iPod to help them relax, and a digital camera for after the baby arrives.

• Expectant mothers will also want to pack a bag for the baby, and prepare the car. Babies will need receiving blankets, pajamas, pacifiers, hats, booties and disposable diapers. Having the car seat installed, plenty of gas in the car and a planned route to the hospital adds a sense of ease on delivery day.

• When labor starts, most women are usually more comfortable in their home environments for as long as possible, so calling the physician to discuss the status of contractions is important in knowing when it's time to go to the hospital.

• It is often not permitted to eat or drink until after the baby is born once in the hospital. Eating bread, cereals, yogurt, bananas or pasta prior to arriving will help the expectant mother store up energy for the work ahead.

• Upon arrival, mothers must fill out insurance forms and check-in paperwork before being issued a hospital bracelet and taken to the labor and delivery room. Some hospitals allow mothers to pre-register which will allow her to go right into the hospital and begin focusing on delivery instead of paperwork.

After birth, the new mother's body begins to adjust back to its pre-pregnancy state and powerful emotions sink in. Getting plenty of rest and utilizing the hospital resources post-childbirth during this initial recovery phase will help the new mother prepare for the moment she and the new baby can finally go home.

This article was written by Katie Moore. Katie is an active writer within the blogging community who discusses maternity, motherhood, prenatal health, childbirth and other topics within this niche.  If you have any questions or would like to connect with Katie please contact by visiting her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter @moorekm26.

Krishna - Avatar

the draft of this post was written when I was 8 months pregnant...now my daughter is 8 months old....and I did not get time to edit and post it since then...

It was Krishna's (see photo below) birthday last month i.e.Janamashthami and I received a truckload of blessings from elders. 'S' (my preggie friend I've mentioned before) was also swamped with blessings and got a baby Krishna calender as a bonus!

The only problem I had with these blessings was the assumption that Krishna has nothing else to do in this world but be born as my son!!

and WHY ONLY as a SON!! WHY NOT as a DAUGHTER???

A well-meaning mausi blessed me saying 'murli bajate hue Krishna Bhagwaan aayenge tumhare ghar' (meaning Krishna will be born to you playing his flute)...Now, how on earth am I going to accomplish the task of giving birth to a baby as well as a flute.....Please send in your suggestions..

Plus, I also have a 50-50 possibility of having a daughter - this doesn't occur to people in our son-obsessed country when they bless pregnant women (remember age old blessings like shat-putravati bhav meaning may you have 100 sons - there is no parallel blessing for having a 100 daughters)!!

Don't these people know that the sex of the baby is decided quite instantly after having successful sex for the purpose...and not even a million blessings in the coming months can change the chromosomal design. Brush up your school biology lessons people!! high time!! and wish for the family's health, wealth and wisdom instead..

ok...Let me get on with my friend's story...

Her mom had come to help around the household... For S it meant - good bye to privacy/ decision making/etc...From what to eat through the day...to sleeping postures to political affiliations ( :-D kidding), aunty had ever-ready advice for S.

Let's fast forward to the Janamashthami weekend...Aunty was doing her usual meddling around in the kitchen while S was watching TV. Suddenly the television screen went blank. S looked up to see her mom standing there with hands on her waist staring accusingly at her (imagine a strict primary school teacher who has just caught a toddler drawing on the wall with crayons- that kind of expression)...

Aunty had switched off the TV...you want to know WHY?? 

Because S was watching 'Avatar'!!! For those of you like me and S who could not catch this Oscar nominated movie on the big screen, this Janamashthami weekend came as a pleasant surprise as the film was shown on Star Movies and repeatedly telecast at least 8 times- so you couldn't miss it! BUT, HER MOTHER PROHIBITED HER FROM WATCHING EVEN A TRAILER OF IT

'But Why?', you all must be wondering. Well, Aunty's take on the issue was very scientific - she said, 'yeh kya hain -poonch vaale ajeeb neele neele aadhe jaanvar aadhe insaan - isko dekh ke bachche par galat asar padega' (meaning: what are these weird blue-blue creatures with a tail- half human- half animal- seeing this will be bad for the baby).


(James Cameron will have a fit if he hears this description of the graceful beings his highly-paid design team had created!!) 


S was really pissed when she called me and I gave her really good (I think) arguments to convince aunty...

First idea: I suggested that she should tell aunty that the baby doesn't have X-ray vision so she needn't worry about the bad effect - this idea flopped miserably when S was asked to shut up and listen to some bhajans.


Second Idea: I told S to strongly fight for her right and she did - 'thousands of pregnant women all over the world have seen this movie mummy...you think all their babies have been affected/ deformed...what a ridiculous thi....' of course before she could finish her very emotional outburst, aunty snapped, 'those thousands of women are not my daughters so I don't care!!' 


hmmmmmmmmm...that really was like a final warning from aunty and Avatar had already been shown thrice...we had 5 more chances of convincing aunty


Third/ fourth/Fifth Ideas: Bribery; threats and pleading...all were stonewalled. S called me up, exhausted after the effort and said that aunty had insisted that she watch Ramayan with her and that is what she was going to do....


A bell started ringing in my head!!! She was going to watch Ramayan!! HELLO!! EXCUSE ME!! I was appalled at the double standards of the whole issue... I told S to remind aunty that Ramayan had Hanuman ji who also has a poonch (tail) and  the entire vaanar sena had tails and monkey faces. I asked her to point at the Krishna calender and ask aunty, 'Mummy do you think this is normal skin colour?? Please put on your glasses and see carefully- this colour is 'blue'!!'  And while on this topic, I asked her to rub it in really well- to show aunty images of Ram- blue; Shiv- blue; Vishnu- blue!! Brahma with 4 heads and Durga with 12 hands and Ganesha with elephant head ... ....phew!!!

Blue and White!!

the Avatar look was inspired by figures from Hindu mythology

S, like a good friend followed my advice and told aunty not to be racist and that she had no right to judge people by skin colour; facial features and presence or absence of tails etc..

All in vain....as aunty then used the oldest weapon in the world that can win all battles - tears!!! She put on a miserable expression of shock; sadness; anger- all mixed up. Now, S wanted to tell aunty that such a distorted face of the grandmother would definitely affect the child but checked herself just in time to be saved from being washed away in tears..and said, 'OK Mummy...I won't see it'...(the main reason being that the last and eighth repeat telecast was already half way through)



So S started reading a book...grew bored after reading seven and a half lines...went to check on aunty's mood...

Aunty was watching TV with full concentration (established by her half-open mouth and eyes glued to screen). The tears had vanished as if they had never come. 

On the screen was a woman with a vamp-like smile...wearing bright red lipstick; multi- layered make-up; thick swathes of purple eye liner on the eyelids and thicker swathes of a green one under the eyes...fake eyelashes reaching her chin; fake hair mounted on the top of her head like an inverted ice cream cone....

S instinctively and immediately looked away from the screen...afraid that the sight may affect the baby badly!!!!
At that very moment, aunty patted the sofa next to her and said 'aao baitho yeh dekho...bada hi interesting plot hai!!' (come sit..see this - it has a very interesting plot!!)   :-)

What an Idea Woody Allen Sir ji

Isn't it brilliant- had to add this in the blog!!

The event of pregnancy

One of my close friends is doing her PhD fieldwork for which she is conducting surveys in certain backward regions of our country and meeting really poor families...She couldn't decide whether to be sad seeing their helplessness and misery or happy perceiving their wonderful aspirations/dreams.

She happened to call me up on one of the days when she was 'sad' and I was telling her about an expensive test I had to undergo to assess the development of the foetus (my baby). She said pointedly...'you know, for women like us, pregnancy is an event - a huge event - but for many women who have 6-7 kids on an average it becomes a non-event...and they also have to slog through all their pregnancies as they don't have any way out'. (by 'women like us', she meant educated women who can opt for a late pregnancy and can afford all expensive care/tests etc. that is available)

Well, I agree and disagree with her - I think getting pregnant is a huge event for any woman even if it is for the hundredth time  - every time it leads to a gigantic change in her life albeit in the form of a tiny baby. But I do agree that for most women in our country, pregnancy comes and goes with so many responsibilities and burdens that they cannot pay special attention to 'being pregnant'.

Have you ever asked your mothers/ aunts/ friends' mothers about the time when they were pregnant? I made that mistake unknowingly at first and knowingly afterwards just to hear some fun stories...though each of them were a comparative analysis of how easy it is for us and how difficult it was for them...sometimes I wanted to retaliate with a smart remark like 'times have changed aunty'....or make a face showing my disapproval of this comparison......but then one can always adjust one's facial expressions for beloved aunties....:-)

Their stories were all about having to wash clothes; cook food for a family of 20 (an average calculated from all stories that I heard); clean and sweep house; take care of other children of family (not only their own); have the delivery at home and not spending so much money on thousands of tests like me!!! what did I have to do? REST...REST...REST and then TEST...TEST...TEST...and write a silly blog during my pregnancy...I guess, I am just plain lucky - if being stuck on the third floor; or having nightmares before every blood test; or having almost all complications a pregnant woman can have can be called lucky.

These very moms and aunties insist that their daughters etc. have every available test done - as they can afford it (and basically because such tests have been discovered now and weren't there in their times). So if I had put my foot down that I wanted to do housework and go to office during pregnancy and not get any tests done (like they did), it is these very same moms/aunties that would have kicked me on the behind and told me to shut-up and do what the doctor says. So, the crux is to smilingly listen to all the stories in which each one will glorify her own 'event' of pregnancy...and save some juicy pieces to pass on to your own daughter/ daughter-in-law when they get a hundred more tests done when they become pregnant.. (or may-be by that time a single WONDER-TEST will be discovered which will be able to tell you all about the baby...oh how I wish I could be born then... as right now my arms and wrists have a perforated appearance owing to the hundreds of blood(y) tests.)

I think every woman has her own share of pregnancy problems....and her store of experiences gets replenished every time she gets preggie, so by the time she is pregnant for a third or fourth time she can easily treat the pregnancy as a 'non-event'. She would already know (most of the times) what to do when something goes wrong and wouldn't panic like the first time - An 'oh! I puked twice - what to do?' kind of panic!

Sometimes multiple pregnancies and lots of kids steal the importance that could have been given to one or two. Then, the 'event of pregnancy' may become a mere occurrence...as normal as changing of seasons..and related to this, I want to tell you all a story:

'Once upon a time, in the year 1612, a teenage prince of a vast and great kingdom married a ravishingly beautiful teenage girl. He eventually became King and had a number of wives...but all his attention was riveted on this particular wife who he made his main queen and partner....and never let her out of his sight.... he was madly in love with her....so much so that she accompanied him to all the wars and battles he was fighting to expand his kingdom. She was not literally fighting in the battles but used to wait in the army camp for her king to return. People say that their's was a perfect marriage built on deepest love...and when she died in 1631 at the age of 38, the prince  went into two years of mourning. In fact historians have recorded how his hair and beard turned grey overnight due to grief and how tears kept flowing non-stop from his eyes...He finally paid  a great tribute to his best friend and beloved wife - he had a mausoleum built to house her remains...and mind you not an ordinary one............He had the Taj Mahal built in her remembrance...'

The Taj Mahal - image from Google images

So, you all know now that this is the story of  Shah Jahan and his queen Mumtaz Mahal. Those of you dabbing their eyes with their hankies and sniffling on hearing this tragic love story, there are many more people like you who glorify the Taj Mahal as a symbol of true love...etc etc but I think otherwise...presenting my thoughts in bullets so that they pass through thick skulls and mushy brains :-)

• Mumtaz Mahal was just 38 when she died and she had already mothered 14 children and had had at least a dozen miscarriages (historians dispute over the number of miscarriages but the 14 births are recorded)!!
• She was married to Shah Jahan in 1612 and died in 1631...so they were married for 19 years out of which she was pregnant for FOURTEEN years and had some miscarriages also!!
• She was not the only wife to Shah Jahan...There were many others.
• She accompanied Shah Jahan to his battlefields and on almost all of these occasions she was pregnant.
• She died in one such battle camp while giving birth to her fourteenth child.
• Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal - an architectural marvel in her memory.

So, my argument is whether this was Shah Jahan's love or his selfishness/eccentricity? Agreed..that he loved her deeply..but sometimes loving means thinking of the other's comfort...not taking her with you on the battlefield when she is pregnant and specially when you have  luxurious palaces back home in Agra and Delhi..

I am sure the other queens were more than happy not to be loved soooo much by the king...as they got to enjoy royal comforts while the perpetually pregnant Mumtaz bore children as well as risks to life in battle camps. No wonder, 7 of the 14 children died at an early age (what a pity!).

This is the great love people have written about...where the guy wants the woman next to him at all times (read 'great love') so that he could make out with her whenever the opportunity - 'oh! the soldiers are taking a water break..let me go and make Mumtaz pregnant!! oh!! but I can't do that because her waters are breaking!!!!'                                                            
                                                                                                                                     photo of Mumtaz from wikipaedia

Jokes at the expense of the poor woman aside...but what else explains this lunacy? I'm sure Mumtaz was also bonkers, not protesting...If Shah Jahan had multiple wives, he could have had a rotation schedule...and could have given Mumtaz some break and taken other queens with him to some battles but NO...he loved her too much to leave her in the comfort of a palace.

Yes Yes...I know some of you will come up with the argument that there were no condoms at that time and contraceptives were banned by religion.......but common sense was not banned na?? They could have taken a break of a year here and a year there....and Mumtaz would have lived a longer, healthier and more fulfilling life...................but then we wouldn't have had the Taj Mahal... (Shah Jahan was imprisoned by his son later in life...if Mumtaz would be alive...I'm sure Shah Jahan would have insisted that she accompany him to the prison too!! and of course that would have meant no Taj Mahal)..

So, I don't know whether Mumtaz considered each of her pregnancies to be an 'event' but she was definitely the one  behind one of the most marvellous events in India's history- the creation of the Taj Mahal..